(Image found at Texas Police Central)
I have a new neighbor. His name is . . . Tom. Tom is a nice man, gregarious, generous, kind. Too kind, really. I’ve been babysitting his cats while he’s away on business, so the alcohol he’s been giving to me has been a nice “thank you.” The sweatshirt, too. And the flowers. And the invites to dinner, the shore, etcetera. I draw the line at the dates, though, because I don’t date neighbors.
Lately he’s been looking in my windows, and when he sees me, he smiles and waves. A friendly wave, nothing creepy. I’m usually in my pajamas or in some form of dishabille: No makeup, bad hair, and in no mood to play exhibitionist. Seriously, I AM an exhibitionist, when it suits ME, and when I’m in control of the situation. Being peeped when I’m not in the mood, however, is annoying.
I’ve taken to wearing my bathrobe at all times rather than shut off the view to my beautiful backyard. Unfortunately it means I’m eating dinner in the library tonight, as he’s sitting in my back yard right now, able to see into my dining room.
5 responses so far ↓
Guitar Wolf // July 17, 2006 at 7:57 am |
Uh…werd. I mean WEIRD. Doesn’t creepy behavior generally begin seeming overly nice yet misunderstood, until it escalates and then when you look back on the whole thing you realize that you were just rationalizing the beginning actions to fit them into your schema of how people are SUPPOSED to act? Or he could be genuinely nice but awkward, but…Watch your back pretty lady!
Also, wonderful that your sister is doing better.
toastedsuzy // July 17, 2006 at 2:42 pm |
Have you … I mean, haven’t you staged a fake murder or, I don’t know, drug deal or something yet?
I could help! I’ll be the victim. Or no, I’ll be the guy with the weird lumpy suitcase.
TS
Dates Bubbas // July 17, 2006 at 7:50 pm |
I love that cartoon!! Okay, I’m not sure yet if we should be playing the theme from Psycho or he’s just into you. Maybe he just feels like he owes you way more than you think is necessary for taking care of his “kids.” I mean, it sounds to me like he’s brought you all the necessaries for you to invite him over for a nice dinner and a movie. I wouldn’t write my neighbors off entirely – look at Paula Dean. She literally ended up falling in love with and marrying the guy next door – because of her DOG! I, however, am surrounded now completely by bubbas and other psycho freaks. I’ll trade yours for mine… mine is over 70 years old and is just a general pest. Well, except when he’s out polishing his wife’s car in his bathrobe at midnight.
hedonisticpleasureseeker // July 17, 2006 at 7:55 pm |
He’s a good guy, really. Today he came over and apologized for catching me in my skivvies.
Postcards From the Hedge « The Hedonistic Pleasureseeker // September 15, 2008 at 4:18 am |
[...] probably forgotten all about my neighbor Tom. The guy who moved next door. The guy who used to peek in my windows all hours of the day and night, which given my lingerie fetish and my habit of walking around the [...]