I’ve been meaning to post my List for quite awhile now but never seemed to get around to it. Since things have started to get “interesting,” however, I suppose I’ll just post it and say OK everyone, here it is, my CALL TO THE UNIVERSE!!! For a life mate, spouse, whatever. At the very least, a lover who “gets” me.
Believe me, I’m open to constructive criticism. I haven’t even begun to tell you the crazy stories of botched-up romances stemming from my incomplete and/or poorly communicated Calls. I’ve had it with the grief and am ready for some bliss. Here we go:
THE LIST – MY PARTNER
Psychic/Spiritual: Has very good instincts. Is aware of a Higher Power: Witnesses how Spirit moves and effects change. Generates (and runs on) his/her own power. Is unwilling to psychically “feed” off a person without his/her explicit permission. Thoughtful and contemplative.
Emotional: Emotionally healthy and mature. Generally sane. Crazy in love with me, interested in what makes me tick, loves my brain, loves my magical/esoteric nature. Motivated to make me happy. Indulgent, affectionate, generous, honest, emotionally available, independent.
Physical: Age-appropriate. Easy on the eyes: Nice eyes, nice smile, good teeth. Smells good. Watches his/her diet, weight, and general health. Slender and muscular. No addictions to speak of (including tobacco). Free of nervous tics or damaging personal habits.
Intellectual/Personality/Aesthetics: Female-friendly; treats women as individual human beings. Energetic, gregarious, outgoing, creative, funny, sociable, fashion-conscious. Loves to DO things: Music, dance, fine dining, travel, etc. Progressive, worldly, intelligent, in-touch, civic-minded, philanthropic, and intellectually curious. A lover of art, nature, and beauty. Has a lovely, comfortable home that acts as an emotional “center.” Is neat, clean and orderly without being anal about it.
Sexual: Has good chemistry with me. We are each other’s physical type and are a good sexual “match.” Wants to, is capable of, and willing to do what it takes to achieve mutual sexual bliss in the context of a committed relationship. Unwilling to impose moral standards that s/he is unwilling to live up to him/herself. Open-minded, safe, loves to give pleasure, and skilled.
Financial: Understands that it’s important to me to continue to be financially independent from the men in my life. Financially secure enough to be able to spend on mutually enjoyable activities. Indulgent, especially of my love for sparkly girly things. Happy to jointly invest in our long-term security needs, even if we never marry.
Family: Ideally, has a good relationship with his/her family, but at the very least with his/her mother. Has grown or near-grown children of his/her own, and does not want to have any more. Is respectful and decent toward any ex-spouse(s) and ex-lovers. Treats children and stepchildren well. Loves my child like a daughter. Ideally, loves cats and is not allergic to them, but at the very least is willing to compromise and live with them.
So, am I missing anything important? I know it’s a tall order, but I’m happy to remain single until I die rather than compromise my standards. Ideally, all these traits will be found in one person, but if I can meet my needs with two or three or four of them, who’s complaining? Just kidding! I really prefer just one. Fewer phone numbers to memorize. 
One more thing: If the Universe decides to cough up the perfect woman for me, hey, I’d be cool with that. I just changed the list so that it’s gender-neutral. This doubles my chances, yes? The Universe keeps sending me men for some crazy reason, but perhaps it’s time turn lesbian. Besides, I hear they’re giving out free toasters to women who make the switch! 
28 responses so far ↓
Pony // July 17, 2006 at 9:17 pm
I would include:
If divorced, willingly treated his former wife equitably in the settlement and is observed to speak of her with respect. (If somewhat formally…ya understand.)
If he has children: has a good, co-parenting relationship with their mother, and does not run her down to you or the children.
hedonisticpleasureseeker // July 17, 2006 at 9:19 pm
ooh. good ones. consider it done.
Dates Bubbas // July 17, 2006 at 9:40 pm
I think I’d mention how I felt about alcohol and other mind altering substances. Also, just how much like you do you want him to be? A lot, a little? Just because he gets you doesn’t mean he’s exactly like you.
What are your dealbreakers? He oughtta know those up front… aside from what you’ve listed so far under Family and Financial. You know… those things that he might do that will drive you bat shit.
hedonisticpleasureseeker // July 17, 2006 at 9:44 pm
HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM. I suppose nervous tics would drive me batshit. So would smoking. SHIT, I forgot NONSMOKER!
I’m actually quite cool with mind-expanding substances.
I don’t want someone exactly like me, because that would be really, really annoying. Only one vain, arrogant, conceited, self-absorbed exhibitionist-fashionista in this household is allowed! Just kidding. It could actually make for QUITE the interesting relationship, don’t you think?
This list is gonna be LONG.
Cheryl // July 17, 2006 at 9:48 pm
Sexual: Heterosexual.
So much for your gender-neutral lesbian fantsies. ; )
Don’t be greedy and forget about the toaster. Send your felame cast-offs my way!
Cheryl // July 17, 2006 at 9:51 pm
How about “honesty” and “emotional availability,” two of my biggies.
hedonisticpleasureseeker // July 17, 2006 at 9:59 pm
Whoops! Missed that one. I added “heterosexual” after the last guy who tripped my trigger turned out to be GAY. LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I’ll fix it.
Emotionally available: Good one. Added.
Cheryl // July 17, 2006 at 10:40 pm
Thank you for not making note of the lesbian’s inability to spell f-e-m-a-l-e. I hate it when my fingers get ahead of my brain. Well, usually.
Dates Bubbas // July 17, 2006 at 10:44 pm
How about wants to be in a committed relationship? In your commentary, you note that you’d like to remember only one phone number. You should probably also state that you’d like him to have only yours as well. Nobody needs STDs.
Pony // July 17, 2006 at 11:39 pm
“only one…exhibitionist-fashionista in this household is allowed.”
Well yes. Who wants to have to share their vintage slips?
Guitar Wolf // July 18, 2006 at 8:13 am
Hmm, a “list” that doesn’t focus on “Must be over 6 feet tall, must own business or at least be a V.P., must spoil me constantly, must have a boat…”
Pardon me ma’am, you must not be from around these parts…:-)
hedonistic // July 18, 2006 at 8:47 am
Guitar Wolf: :smile: I don’t know if I want to date the typical VP, unless he’s retired!!!!! My ex-husband is 6′5″. I’ve also dated men no taller than I (Andrew is close to my height). I’ve dated everyone from vagabonds (two) to at least one handsome, intelligent billionaire (yes, I spelled it with a “b,” I haven’t gotten around to THAT story yet). I noticed none of it bought chemistry or compatibility.
That said, at my age, any man I date has to be able to demonstrate a lifetime of good personal and professional choices. Once a man gets into his late 40s, 50s and beyond it all shows: In his face, in his body, in his bank account. He knows what he wants to be when he grows up. It’s one of the things I love about dating older men: What you see is what you’re gonna get.
Women’s fantasies about Mr. Right must be as tiresome to men as men’s centerfold fantasies are to women. Somewhere out there, there is supposedly a rich, tall, handsome man who’s “perfect” for us. Nevermind the fact that he’s probably already married to a supermodel. Sigh. Next fantasy, please.
belledame222 // July 18, 2006 at 10:01 am
sense of humor?
creative? (sexually and otherwise)
Hedonistic Pleasureseeker » Blog Archive » The Original, Undefeated // July 20, 2006 at 2:57 am
[...] Some of my readers have been following my curious dating odyssey. No sooner do I put out a Call to the Universe (or the Gremlins, whatever!) for a man who “gets” me than I get an email from a guy who doesn’t think we’re well-matched. VERY FUNNY. [...]
On Romancing the Hedonistic Pleasureseeker « Hedonistic Pleasureseeker // November 18, 2006 at 5:16 pm
[...] Yes, I have a LIST. Every woman has a list of human traits she finds attractive or desirable in a person; I just took the time to write mine down! Please read it before approaching me with romantic intention, because you might just decide I’m too much trouble, and you will probably be right. [...]
My Miami Vice, Part . . . ? « Hedonistic Pleasureseeker // January 21, 2007 at 2:11 am
[...] on Match.com a few years ago, after the first time I broke up with you-know-who. I had put out a Call to the Universe for another Scorpio who cooked, and within a week I received an email from Doc: A Scorpio in the [...]
Ben B // February 6, 2007 at 4:20 pm
Hmm. I saw this through google search for ‘call to the universe’. You must not focus or think of the negatives - from the negatives you can only think of what the positive opposite might be. You must focus on the sort of person you would like to meet, not the one you would NOT. So no ‘NOT a smoker’ but rather ‘would be a non-smoker’. Positive application of the law of attraction and its visualisation aspect. I firmly believe (even at just the ripe old age of 23) that you must see yourself in that situation before it will happen. And it will NOT happen if there are circumstances in your mental makeup or life that dictate whether or not YOU are ready for it. When you are ready, you must honestly ASK THE UNIVERSE. Not the cyber-universe - there is a massive difference. Write down or speak aloud a call to the universe stating what you want, roughly how long you can wait or when you would like it. Then you must be open to opportunity, go with gut instinct, follow paths - you noticed an ad for a specific event of interest, someone asks you if you are going, you are given a free ticket an hour before by someone as you walk near to the venue (solely an example). Go with these natural gut instincts as they are the indication of when you are following the secret law of attraction.
With this, I have ALWAYS found someone. I am very picky, with very high standards and have so far seen only several people in my life that I count as a serious or semi-serious relationship. And each one I met by asking to meet them. And then low and behold they appeared.
Also, my first, most full on love was when I was 12. I met a girl half the world away on the internet. Same age, interests, thoughts. We quickly became psychicly linked in various ways and fell totally in love. 7 years later I had to give up the love I felt as it was killing my soul not being near her. To this day I still have not met her face to face. But I know it was meant to be all that time, as far as friendship. But true love should not occur on the internet. It is not so controlled by the universe as it is by man - so inspirational chance and acts of the universe are stifled. I truly believe that I was NEVER meant to have met the girl on the internet - in any decade before I wouldn’t have, unless I went there, and actually met her. Inspired attraction - instant infatuation - can ONLY occur when in close proximity. Sure, photos, film etc can be good - but you really need to see a 3D image, with gaze, gait, pheromones… and more than anything the chance for you, to in real time, assess their soul or mind’s intentions. I think this is the most important test of whether you should be with someone. You can see someone true and pure, usually - and that they have no ill intention.
Sorry to ramble, hope you can understand what I am saying. Any questions I can be contacted through my website contact section. I try to help all my friends with relationship advice
Summary: at the moment I am in love with the most amazing girl I have ever met. I met her 3 weeks after breaking up a 3 year relationship. I asked the universe and 3 weeks later there she was. Three times after we met we were together. She has since travelled the world for a year, after we were together 4 months. It was pre-planned. We are still both in love and she plans to come back within the next 7 weeks. It is even more exciting now because we get to meet the people we have become - everything is new again.
p.s. The most important part of any relationship is being apart. The time apart gives you time for yourself and your own interests. Time to look slobby, time to relax, time to see non-mutual friends. Then when you see each other once or twice a week, do not be jealous, savour the time you are together. I do not think couples should live together for at least 5 years into a relationship - if ever!
Dan day after ewe // February 6, 2007 at 4:29 pm
Word dude…….Word!
Dan day after ewe // February 6, 2007 at 4:34 pm
I want to be a smoker….. of the non - variety
Please, Universe, my Universe. Do me right
Pahleeeeese?
The Hedonistic Pleasureseeker // February 6, 2007 at 4:40 pm
Thank you Ben, for that sweet message! You are very wise for your years.
Dan day after ewe // February 6, 2007 at 10:50 pm
whuul… whuul what about me?
I’m only 46!
Dan day after ewe // February 6, 2007 at 10:59 pm
aflack…..AFLACK!
Tathagata // February 6, 2007 at 11:00 pm
Dan, why do you have to try to berate everyone that posts on this site? Do you think it makes you appear wise? Funny? Endearing?
Actually my friend, its just annoying.
Dan day after ewe // February 6, 2007 at 11:03 pm
B..B….B….B…..But, who did I berate?
disagreement isn’t beration
Dan day after ewe // February 6, 2007 at 11:07 pm
Honestly, sir
I thought I was being funny and I meant no personal disrespect
On the other you have now- insuted ME.
I’m kidding. I’m ok with it
Dan day after ewe // February 6, 2007 at 11:22 pm
And I do apologize if I have offended you. it was not intended.
My Miami Vice « Hedonistic Pleasureseeker // April 1, 2007 at 2:47 am
[...] on Match.com a few years ago, after the first time I broke up with you-know-who. I had put out a Call to the Universe for another Scorpio who cooked, and within a week I received an email from Doc: A Scorpio in the [...]
kim // September 17, 2007 at 9:29 pm
I wish I were single. You sound like a perfect match for what I want in a relationship. Unfortunately, I’m not quite ready to give up my current relationship - even if it is not what I know I need for me. He is, after all, the father of my children, and a very good, kind person. I’m just not into men - tried and - well - for me the connection is not there. One day or perhaps in my next life, I will have the courage to live how I feel I need to. Good luck to you in your call to the universe. May your answer be safe, quick, sure and downright joyful.
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