In the animal kingdom alpha males mark their territory, communicate sexual interest, and establish dominance by peeing on things. In civil human society public peeing is generally frowned upon, so the Alpha Human uses inappropriate touching instead. George Bush, the so-called Leader of the Free World, uses inappropriate touching to telegraph to the world that everyone in his path is his “bitch.”
Behold the Skeevy Fake Massage Move. Every woman on the planet has been victimized in this manner at least once in her life by a man who has no business touching her. Consequently, every woman on the planet can relate to the look of horror on German Chancellor Angela Merkel’s face.
I found these photos first at Bitch, PhD:
But even being Chancellor of Germany doesn’t mean that you’re immune from some sleazeball patronizing you and trying to put the mack on.
Isn’t it nice to know that no matter how powerful you are, there’s always gonna be some guy who sees you as just a chick? And who doesn’t get that whole on-the-job-sexual harassment thing?
Or, to quote a commenter on another thread at The News Blog, “I suppose we should be grateful that he didn’t grab her boobs and make ‘honk, honk’ noises.”
This has nothing to do with being sexy or cute or friendly, and everything to do with wielding power. This woman is a Chancellor representing a country of 80 million people at a G8 summit, and this stupid frat boy couldn’t keep his hands off her. He had to show her who was the boss, who was The Man. What a moron.
It’s a general rule that, in civil society at least, you don’t touch people without their expressed permission. If you’re already intimate with a woman who clearly likes it, the Fake Massage Move is not skeevy; it’s cute. Otherwise, hands off. Other people’s bodies are By Invitation Only.
Here’s the German online news site that broke the story. Loosely translated, I believe the incident was called a “Love Attack.”
16 responses so far ↓
Dates Bubbas // July 18, 2006 at 7:13 pm
Well… I did hear the other day on NPR that he’s completely *fascinated* with her, and they noted how relatively unflappable she was and what a warm relationship they have. She certainly looks flapped in that picture, and who could blame her? I have to wonder how “warm” their relationship is now. With me it would be ICE COLD. Maybe that’s why Gerhard Schroeder was pissed off at him, too. Too much *special* touching. LOL!!
Pony // July 18, 2006 at 8:55 pm
Oh why didn’t she clock him? Is there some subterranean level he hasn’t sunk to yet. Everything about this man’s tenure makes Onion look redundant.
hedonisticpleasureseeker // July 18, 2006 at 9:30 pm
I caught another priceless comment at another site: When is he going to start masturbating in public? I can’t wait.
Dates Bubbas // July 18, 2006 at 9:53 pm
And to think we were embarrassed by Bill Clinton. At least he fondled his interns. Bushy-boy fondles other heads of state. Actually, he probably has masturbated in public, the press just didn’t happen to be there to see or hear it this time. I’m sooo glad I didn’t vote for him!!
Cheryl // July 18, 2006 at 10:54 pm
For those who need a primer on “Good Touch/Bad Touch,” this is bad touch.
helenahanbasquet // July 18, 2006 at 11:02 pm
Are you sure that what we are seeing isn’t the Texas version of the Heimlech maneuver?
toastedsuzy // July 18, 2006 at 11:37 pm
His facial expression in this picture is more alarming than hers. He looks confused.
The thought has crossed my mind before that his handlers might devise some means of administering a mild electic shock to him, to let him know when he’s being stupid. Like, when he grabs the president of China by the sleave. BZZZZZT! Or when he … I don’t know…talks. BZZZZT!
Maybe they’ve done that, and the confusion evident on his face in this pic is him thinking, “Dammit, there it is again! What the hell is that buzzing all about?”
I realize this is wishful thinking.
I hadn’t heard about this particular incident. Thanks for…well, not surprising me at all.
TS
Cheryl // July 19, 2006 at 12:50 am
Maybe that’s why he looks pissed…he thought Angela had stood him up for a tryst and had to take matters into his own hands.
And I’m all for a negative behavior deterrant collar for our Commander-in-Chief, especially if I can get a turn at the controls.
hedonistic // July 19, 2006 at 8:44 am
http://guerillawomentn.blogspot.com/2006/07/animal-house-summit.html
Hah. I love it when bloggers cut-and-paste whole NYT articles.
hedonisticpleasureseeker // July 19, 2006 at 6:00 pm
http://www.mindcaster.nl/vlog/?p=92
Cheryl, Toasted, you’re not the only one who’s thought of it . . .
toastedsuzy // July 19, 2006 at 8:17 pm
I friggin’ KNEW IT!
That is some funny funny stuff.
TS
coffey0072 // July 19, 2006 at 10:41 pm
hahahaha. I really enjoy reading your blog!
The deep tissue, shoulder rub down is the classic example of a man asserting his dominance. Next think you know, our dear president will pull an R. Kelly type stunt, to further his message of total World Dominance. hahahaha
Just Click The Picture Already at I Blame The Patriarchy // July 20, 2006 at 6:59 pm
[...] [Gracias, Hedonistic Pleasureseeker, Pony] [...]
hedonistic // July 24, 2006 at 1:02 pm
I just loved Pinko Punko’s comment on Twisty’s site:
Twisty,
Conversing with the Random Randroid (as bad as it sounds) RE:skeevy ass Pres, capital P-enis, his claim was that the massagemo was “no biggee.” I then went crazy monkey ape shit on his ass. Even if in magical fairy land world, where Bush also gave Putin massages and maybe did Blair’s hair, we would then only have equality in skeeviness. How come people cannot check into the clue hotel about putting your hands on someone without their consent? Is there some non-obvious dimension here that is not apparent to my tiny brain?
nina // July 26, 2006 at 4:32 am
W. doesn’t know what tits are! lol!
xoxo,
nina
david marc // April 12, 2007 at 3:10 am
European faggots. Get over it. Hes from texas, he rolled in the room, gave a 2 second nice welcome back masage, and the tight ass german bugged.
Go get half your paychecks garnished so you can smoke ciggerates in cafes.
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