It was early in the week and I was eating lunch at my desk, talking on my cell phone. I was thinking about calling off my date with Michael and wanted to give him an opportunity to bow out voluntarily.
“But it’s Hannukah!”
“I don’t care. I want to see you.”
“OK, but I wanted to remind you, just in case your mother calls you up and expects you to be somewhere or do something.”
“She’s not like that. We don’t celebrate. Our family isn’t like that.”
“OK.” We hung up and I thought hmmm . . . another family on holiday strike. I liked it.
There was no point to refusing Michael’s offer because I had nothing better to do this weekend. Certainly I was not going to spend another Saturday night at home watching Sex and the City reruns! He wanted me up for the entire weekend but I told him I wasn’t available (I lied). Frankly, he doesn’t rate a full weekend of my time, not yet at least. We probably won’t even go out; more likely we’ll just stay in and test the chemistry, and if the sex is bad I don’t want to be marooned in Manhattan for an entire weekend! I told him I’d take the train up on Saturday morning.
Of course, upon reading this my sister is going to have a cow. What can I say to her but “idle hands?” Just look at them: They’ve caused me all this mischief! Bad, bad hands! Perhaps someday when I have a full-time lover, a posse, and/or an affordable hobby I will no longer have the time or interest to toy with this strange breed of men. Until that day comes I’m just going to collect my stories.
I’ll let you know if he’s better than HBO.
14 responses so far ↓
datesbubbas // December 14, 2006 at 4:18 am
I didn’t see the e-mail from your sister, but I think I’m inclined to agree with her. Moo.
Dan Hendleman // December 14, 2006 at 5:22 am
Dear Lonelygirl40,
Just work it out with Scorpio, or …..
I sense that you sense that we sense that it’s going that way anyway… if anywhere.
’cause these torrid tales of tepid trysts can’t be nearly as thrilling to you as they are to me.
Look- It seems to lil’ ole me..
If you knew a desirable woman, who was successful, smart and hot in many regards, proactively looking for a relationship and dating often (not to mention the ambient throng of men who would woo her, sans solicitation), yet always, much a do about none of ‘em, what would you tell her?
If all you are saying is non fiction- or even if it’s fiction
to me it’s apparent that this HPS literary entity person is either
1) Not really very emotionally available
2) For some reason, choosing to date the least probable of her options- even before the first or second date proves it so.
3) and/or having more fun in taking the time and energy to trivialize it in serial installments.
hedonistic // December 14, 2006 at 2:52 pm
Dan, Scorpio and I HAVE worked it out. All things considered (his personal habits, his disrespect for me while we were dating, etc.), he’s lucky I let him touch me at all. He calls himself polyamorous, but the truth of the matter is that unless a polyamorous man provides full disclosure to the women he’s dating he’s just a run-of-the-mill player and cheat. I’m not OK with Scorpio’s dating habits AT ALL but I just leave him to his Karma. Funny how Karma is always referred to as a “she.” I hear she’s a real bitch, too.
I’ve been involved in polyamorous relationships off-and-on in my past, so it’s not as though our arrangement is novel to me. That said, I think it’s also pretty well-established that I still have strong feelings for Scorpio, and that I still get possessive and jealous sometimes. Such is life. If it were neat and tidy, my blog would be a bore, yes?
Dan Hendleman // December 14, 2006 at 3:56 pm
Yeah…. but what about the rest of my assessment?
And are your relationships subaltern to the entertainment value of the blog? Yes?
hedonistic // December 14, 2006 at 4:45 pm
Until I meet a man who deserves my exclusive attentions, yes. Unfortunately, being clairvoyant, and men being the inferior creatures that they are (sorry but it’s the godawful truth, IMHO), it’s possible my fate lies with my library and my cats. Hard to say.
hedonistic // December 14, 2006 at 4:52 pm
Perhaps “fatally flawed” is more precise a term than “inferior.”
Dan Hendleman // December 14, 2006 at 5:51 pm
No, inferior is more precise.
Sorry, I didn’t mean to correct you
Dan Hendleman // December 14, 2006 at 5:55 pm
There may be hope
Maybe when you’re older, sex won’t matter much.
Then, It’ll be all about staying warm and laughing a little.
Tathagata // December 14, 2006 at 10:44 pm
aarrrggh hedonistic, you just lost a lot of face with me with that comment.
My ex mother in law had the same assessment, that there was something inherently wrong with all men. I find it hard to believe that people think like that.
Jesus, I just dont know where to begin with what is wrong with that statement.
hedonisticpleasureseeker // December 16, 2006 at 12:50 am
Tathagata, I do not believe men are inferior in the biological sense. Hormonally impaired with a surfeit of testosterone perhaps, but then again my PMS is deadly so who am I to talk?
The problem is social: Men are fatally flawed due to the way they were raised, i.e., in a dog-eat-dog society where all sorts of so-called “manly” successes are to be gained at the expense of other people. What nice boy could make it to adulthood unscathed by it?
Dan Hendleman // December 16, 2006 at 3:08 am
there is a truth to that
That is- we’re all the subjects of the deep deeply ingrained ethos of the society that has been slowly developing for several thousand years.
It’s a conspiracy of mandatory complicity, and can but only reshape , evolving slowly, as things usually do
But as you see, it’s getting faster all the time Dangerously Fast. Too fast to anymore be evaluated
Dan Hendleman // December 16, 2006 at 3:14 am
I can only hope that our future is not a thing of the past.
hope with me, y’all
Tathagata // December 17, 2006 at 9:14 pm
Sorry, I dont agree with it anymore than I would agree with you telling me that women are fatally flawed also. Its an abhorrent generalisation that is obviously untrue.
Sure, there is a lot of the paternal dog-eat-dog crap that goes on, as you say. But to say that every man is affected by this in a way that makes them inferior or flawed is just wrong.
Everyone, is affected by thier environment in many ways, good and bad. To say that men are flawed by this is to say that every person is flawed by it, there is no separation.
To say that men are inferior is something entirely, it shows a disregard for men (which, as Im sure you know, shows a disregard for everyone, since we are all just XX’s and YY’s).
Anyway, I dont come to this blog to be offended. So Im gonna drop this now.
But please understand that yes, I hate it to my core when people are insensitive towards women, but I also hate it when people are insensitive towards men, or dogs, or black people or anything at all.
Daniel Hendleman // December 18, 2006 at 5:23 am
We all prefer to think the facts and opinions we have are close enough to be called ” truth.” We naturally assume that such things are imprinted on our minds, because they ARE true,
Yet these truths that we hold as self-evident, are just that:
SELF-evident.
Our understanding of that which we observe may be quite correct and true; nonetheless, what an individual sees, is as much, or even more a function of that specific direction he is focused, than it is the singularly undeniable scale of a specific truth.
We speak of a subject, but the subject we speak of, speaks volumes of ourselves.
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