The Hedonistic Pleasureseeker

I don’t advocate these kinds of things, as you would probably be found and sent to Gitmo, but you’ve got to admit: This was bound to happen eventually. Or . . . maybe not. This could be another COINTELPRO operation, or even agents provacateurs egging us on.

Beware of the agent provacateur: It is his job to rout out the patriots and make examples of them. Instead, fight back in ways that ride up against the edge of illegal but don’t cross it. Guerrilla theater is much more effective, and enjoyable, than real guerrilla warfare, especially since you’d never win a gunfight with the government anyway. What you CAN do, however, is drive them fucking insane.

Creative non-cooperation is fun. Ever try herding cats? Self-appointed “leaders” often learn the hard way that people won’t follow them unless they do something to deserve their admiration and respect. Absent real leadership bonafides, controlling a population tends to be more trouble than it’s worth.

I can think of a few ways to drive our corporate overlords insane, or at least put a monkey wrench into their machinations. The tactic I recommend is messing with their information databases because that’s how they’ll do all their tracking and snooping: Electronically. Remember computer programming class: Garbage in, garbage out! The FBI recently trashed a multi-million dollar database because the data they gathered was so useless. Take the hint! I did, and now I do the following:

I lie on questionnaires. I like to make myself really really rich on questionnaires claiming several hundred thousands of dollars in income, just to get the interesting mail, and fewer sales calls from guys selling the Ginsu knives. When marketing and sales representatives do call they totally kiss my ass. Heh. Other times I just write down crazy shit.

I only use my VISA to buy innocuous things like clothes or car repairs, nothing that would identify me as being a part of one group or another. If I purchase something “subversive sounding” (the biography of Ghandi?) or identity-exposing I pay cash.

I dress “inappropriately” for subversive missions. I highly recommend this as a hobby: Obnoxious T-shirts are for amateurs (though great for weddings), but instead try dressing like a circus clown instead, or even Santa. “Bubbleheaded twit” works for me, and I have the best costumes for those. You could probably avoid arrest - or at least jail time - by creating your ruckus and airing your grievances in a gorilla suit, because you’ll appear harmless and silly in the eyes of the Law. You’ll grab the attention of the people you’re trying to reach however, plus they’ll listen, and they’ll remember you.

This hasn’t happened in my town yet, but if surveillance cameras pop up around your neighborhood, dress in drag and then moon them, or hold up a sign that insults the Powers that Be. Or just dance for them. Or do like the English do: Destroy the camera! Hawaii struck back subversively against their “talivans” with cooperation from local radio stations and had their surveillance ordinance repealed. Whatever you do, dress in such a way so as not to be identifiable, because (duh) everything you do will be recorded on film. Drag is perfect, or a wig and clothes that disguise your figure.

This doesn’t happen often, but if guards or police officers are get on your case for protesting or picketing or socializing or minding your own business or whatever, act retarded mentally challenged. My 1st stepfather taught me how to do this. Say “why?” to the “nice police man” repeatedly, like a three year old. Grin. Pick your nose. Shrug and pout. Walk funny. I mean, are they going to arrest you for “walking funny?” How would they explain that to the judge? “She mocked me?” Riiiiiiiight.

Bottom line: There are more good people than bad in this world, and so long as we’re informed, empowered and engaged in public life people like George BushCo can’t do anything to harm us. Our problem is that we fell asleep at the wheel, so WAKE UP! The world is so big, and so populated with ordinary decent people that it simply cannot be controlled, especially by the dinosaurs that dominate our upper classes. They’re still living their glory days of the secretaries who typed memos and their three martini lunches, plus they are learning the hard way that keeping information from the public is no longer feasible. That’s the beauty of the internet: Now people may take advantage of a free and vast cache of knowledge immediately, quickly act upon that knowledge, and easily communicate it to anyone and any place, any time. People who can do this cannot be controlled.

Personal sovereignty made easy with modern technology! Don’t let anyone take it away from you: “Net neutrality” may be the most important thing that saves humanity from the NeoCon Overlords.