. . . Is that an economic stimulus in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?

Nation Buys Porn With Stimulus Package

An independent market-research firm, AIMRCo (Adult Internet Market Research Company), has discovered that many websites focused on adult or erotic material have experienced an upswing in sales in the recent weeks since checks have appeared in millions of Americans’ mailboxes across the country.
According to Kirk Mishkin, Head Research Consultant for AIMRCo, “Many of the sites we surveyed have reported 20-30% growth in membership rates since mid-May when the checks were first sent out, and typically the summer is a slow period for this market.”

From the Department of Unintended Consequences: President Bush’s economic stimulus package, which so far has been ineffective in stimulating the economy, is giving the porn industry a rise instead.

Lay-dees, if you’ve occasioned to wonder at men’s priorities, wonder no more: What appears bonehead stupid to us is boner obvious to them. Men are like un-neutered dogs: Just pet them, feed them, pick up their crap, give them lots of fresh air and adventure, make constant cute squeeky noises at them, deal with their funky smells as they age, let them sleep in your bed, and roll your eyes as they continuously hump anything they can. You may need to buy a leash.

This is why I have cats. You know, it’s possible some women are buying porn with their stimulus checks, but I like to think women are more sensible than that. Anyway, I have a message for you guys out there who’ve not yet received your checks in the mail: If you haven’t figured out how to get all your porn for free by now, you are too stupid for money. Send it to me instead and I’LL go shopping!