My last Matching Martini Madness post featured a favorite nightgown I acquired during my Ebay fixation of 2007. It seems to be from the 1960’s or 1970’s, though it’s hard to tell because there is no label.
I love it because the lace is so lavish and deep, and because it’s so soft. This kind of quality is hard to find outside of very high end lingerie shops. However, I bet that when this nightgown was new it was both 1) union made, and 2) reasonably priced. They really don’t make things like they used to, do they?
(My dry bar and wine cabinet, where I play mixologist)
I’m a bad girl for forgetting my HNT post but here it is! I think I’m in the middle of 230 essays right now. It’s just free therapy to me, but you’ll be seeing some of it soon because I found cool pictures for some of the better ones. But my martini matches my slip! It’s Meyer Lemon season! Have you ever tried one? They are a lemon-tangerine hybrid, so they are a little more mellow than regular lemons. The peels are thin and you can eat them!
This is a traditional lemon drop martini. There are several different variations but I think this one is the best:
Do you like the taste of chocolate and tropical fruits? Have I got a vodka martini for you! The smell is divine: Complex, with wafts of real chocolate and vanilla weaving through exotic fruit juice.
Chocolate and tropical fruits are among my favorite flavor combinations; they evoke a sense of leisure and decadence, and strike that perfect balance between health food and dessert. The best of both worlds!
You will need:
Tropicocoa
2 oz Three Olives Chocolate Vodka (the best!)
1 oz X-Rated Fusion (passion fruit, mango)
1 oz Vincent Van Gogh Pineapple Vodka
1 oz White Creme de Cacao, any brand
Instruction: Simple, the usual: Combine ingredients in a shaker with ice. Shake at least fifteen seconds! And look: I just combined Half Nekkid Thursday, a Month of Chocolate and Matching Martini Madness in one post!
February is Chocolate Month at the Lair of the Hedonistic Pleasureseeker. If you want to play confectioner or bartender with me you will need to assemble your ingredients! All chocolate martinis will be vodka based. Candy recipes will be dark chocolate. I’ll be experimenting with mint liquors this year:
Peppermint schnapps, creme de menthe, or other mint flavor liquors
Godiva chocolate liquor(s): This year they have a new chocolate caramel!
Three Olives brand chocolate vodka
Banana vodka and/or liquor
Lemon vodka and/or liquor
Vanilla vodka
Extace, Cointreau or Grand Marnier (orange flavors, use triple sec if you’re on a budget)
Berry flavored vodkas and liquors
Dark baking chocolate, powdered baking chocolate
Powdered sugar, reg. sugar, flour, general baking ingredients and pans
Cream
Chocolate syrup (also caramel or berry syrups if you want to go crazy)
Marachino cherries
Frozen berries
Oreo cookies
Whipped cream
Caramel flavored liquor
Kahlua or Starbucks coffee liquor (Starbucks isn’t as syrupy)
Creme de cacao (light and dark)
The Hedonistic Pleasureseeker is grounded! She must refrain from pleasure seeking until her house is clean, alas! Quel punishment! C’est cruel! But at least it gives her the opportunity to model her new outfit, oui?
I very much enjoy licking this X-Rated Fusion Liqueur off the inside of my martini glass. I couldn’t find it locally so I had a bottle shipped from Tewksbury Fine Wines and Spirits. X-Rated Fusion is a mix of vodka, orange, mango and passion fruit. It’s tart, which I like, so I’ll probably have several bottles shipped to me this holiday season. It could also make a nice gift for a special someone . . . The X-Rated (plain) vodka is hand crafted in copper stills from wheat and roseberry grain and is distilled seven times. I may just have to try it.
I’m usually on Mom Duty on Friday nights, so this evening was full of cooking and puttering and chatting and bitching since both Bunny and I have PMS and didn’t want to go anywhere. Bunny had chocolate for dinner, and then we had chips, chili dip and root beer. Now that she’s off to bed I can go hardcore and play mixologist for awhile.
My usual swill is equal parts Fusion and plain vodka, but tonight I took the X-Rated quiz and discovered that (of course) I’m Pampered Pink! I’m a vision of frills and frippery and bubbles and sure enough, everything about my persona and living space are reflections of my hardcore spoiled-but-sweet hedonism. If I were a Muppet I’d be Miss Piggy! Here is the signature drink the company has chosen for the likes of moi:
1 part X-RATED® Fusion Liqueur®
1 part coconut rum
Splash of pineapple juice
Splash of cherry juice
Add tonic and shake over ice
Pour into sugar-rimmed martini glass
Sprinkle with coconut flakes
Garnish with 2 cherries
Believe it or not I have all the ingredients and The Coco Quette very good, but it doesn’t taste like a martini. It’s more like one of those tropical drinks you order when you’re on vacation in Jamaica. I’d drink it again . . . actually, what I’d really like is to go to Jamaica again. Ahhh, someday, someday . . .
It’s my first party! Actually not really if you count my family, but this is the first time I’ve hosted a social gathering of non-relatives since I moved into my town home. Being so solitary this is a very big deal for me.
The theme? Retro Slumber Party! My posse - hey Sadie if you’re feeling better you’re invited! I’ll call you! You call me! - will be wearing their fancy pajamas, you know, the pretty lacy negligees and peignoirs they never wear because they’re too nice or too frilly or what have you. Old school boudoir! The women who don’t have fancy nightgowns get to raid my lingerie closet. I’ll probably be wearing this:
While working my Google Magic I discovered I might actually be in fashion, as it seems women all over the country are having slumber parties as alternatives to “Girls’ Night Out.” What’s not to like? No one drives so we can party as hard or as late as we want, and the food is better than any restaurants we’d otherwise end up at. There are no men, no police, no bouncers, no maitre d’s, and no arbiters of taste. We can let our hair down and do what we want. Plus, the booze is cheap! We’ll be doing champagne (thanks Jen!) and shots. Yes shots. Jello shots, frozen shots . . . did I mention it’s going to be a sleepover?
Now guys, I know what you’re thinking: All these drunk women in their lingerie and their bawdy girl talk and you want an invitation, right? I can see what you’re imagining now:
Sorry guys, I hate to break it to you but it will probably look something like this instead:
Stay tuned for the details! The bar is stocked, the house is clean, and the food ingredients are prepped! It should be a good time!
I know it’s summer in the city And the sun is high But you can play it cool again Coz boy i seen you disco dancing With your pants on fire We need a little tropical rain
So baby, baby Watch the needle when your heading south You drive me crazy Just remember you can burn me out So get down…
It’s been a long, hot summer And it’s 95 degrees in the shade It’s only Sunday morning And I need that Friday feeling again
It was beastly hot today, in the high 90’s. I was out for a little while, but the heat and the humidity chased me into my air conditioned house. I spent the rest of the afternoon and evening playing HPS Test Kitchen: Barbecue spare ribs and Scorpio’s cole slaw, morel mushrooms fried in olive oil and butter, and an unusual spinach pasta dish with chives and parmesan cheese. Bunny will probably eat the spare ribs this week and leave me with the “weird food.”
So, what to drink with these dishes? A martini flavored like a pina colada! For this recipe you will need two Vincent Van Gogh flavored vodkas.
Hot Summer Night
1 shot pineapple vodka
1 shot coconut vodka
1 shot pineapple juice
squirt of cream of coconut
If you have neither kind of flavored vodka just use plain or vanilla, but add more of the nonalcoholic ingredients for taste. My cream of coconut comes in a squeeze bottle and is made with real coconut. I always try to avoid mixers with corn syrup or artificial flavoring. This martini is made like all the others: In a shaker with ice. Make sure it is very cold. It is better to make a smaller martini than a large one that’s lukewarm by the time you finish!
I went to bed early on my white satin sheets last night, and decided to wear this incredible nightgown designed by Emilio Pucci back in the 70’s. I love it: It’s a sheer mesh with strategically placed black lace, found on EBay of course. I also have a sheer black robe trimmed with black feathers that looks as though it belongs to this nightgown, so sometimes I wear the two pieces together. This is among my most glamorous and risque of my peignoirs.
I couldn’t do Matching Martini Madness last night because my hormones are kicking my ass and I am taking too many pills that should not be taken with alcohol. Besides, what martini would match this gown anyway? A licorice martini? EWWWWW!
Wait: I might be on to something. A licorice martini is doable. I actually be kind of interesting, some Greek Ouzo and something to turn the liquid black. Or just go for the Black Sambuca!
I found this recipe at drinksmixer: Just equal parts of lemon flavored vodka and black sambuca. It’s called the Black Widow Martini. A vodka martini containing equal parts plain vodka and black sambuca is called the Frisky Witch! Wooooooo! Me likey! Maybe I’ll make mine with black vodka . . . some other time. Stay tuned!
(In the realm of the Hedonistic Pleasureseeker elastic waistbands rule!)
I’ve cancelled all of my fashion magazines on principle: I will no longer waste money or suffer anxiety from being slave to the whims of the fashion biz. Not only has this decision taken a lot off my mind, my new approach should save me a ton of money in the long run. My clothes will never be out of style; nononononono. They are and always will be vintage. When vintage is no longer fashionable I’ll just let everyone think I’m eccentric.
(Sienna Miller mixes it up)
Still, I couldn’t resist a cursory glance over the Springtime fashion magazines at the supermarket checkout line. Apparently the retro-boho-hippie scrambled-vintage wafty-crunchy look is still “in.” Actually, the look never goes out of style: Bohemian-types rarely veer from the vibe; it’s just that every now and then Bohemian becomes fashionable. Pretty much all counter-culture affectations eventually go mainstream anyway.
Wanna know why I think women are so mixed up when it comes to clothing? I think it’s because the fashion industry has gotten out of control. It is in a frenzy to change “the look” often enough so that women (and men, but especially women) feel that they must buy new clothes to “look right.” Unfortunately the designers have run out of ideas, so they’re looking to the past for inspiration. It seems that (fashion-wise) we’ve gone from 1950 to 1980 in just two years! We’re confused! How can we keep track of which nostalgic silhouette we’re supposed to display from one month to the next? Face it: Nearly ALL women in the US are over-committed, under-rested and busy busy busy. Who can keep up with fashion? Who cares?
And, while we’re at it, why can’t I find underwear that fits?
Ahem.
So we say “screw it all” and wear whatever we want. Of course, we needed to get “permission” from the entertainment industry first. Once the Ashley Twins and Sienna Miller and . . . whatever their names are, ’cause I stopped paying attention in the 1990’s . . . started looking like hippies one day and street urchins the next, the rest of us thought: Why are we trying so hard?
The mod-martian look is also attempting a comeback, but I believe we may safely ignore it. Ditto the architectural flowers: No one will get on your case if you take a pass. Even if you pay homage to the trend with a metallic piece here and a floppy flower there, take heed: One bad choice and you’ll look like a clown! I have a silvery slip dress that I plan to wear this summer but I plan to keep it simple.
Pucci-inspired patterned clothing is trendy again! I’m very happy about this because I love the look and already have several wildly-patterned wrap dresses in my closet. I’m fashionable this year without even trying!
Something about a few of the summer fashions surprised me: Many of the casual frocks look like vintage lingerie. I see a lot of chiffon, empire waistlines and lace. That’s right: You may wear your sexy boudoir pajamas in public this summer and everyone will think you’re hip! Wear leggings and a t-shirt under your babydoll nighty on casual days. Given last winter’s E-Bay binge I don’t need to buy another thing. I am amazed, however: Here I tried to ignore fashion and develop my own retro-chic- style with vintage lingerie, and look what happened: The fashion biz was already way ahead of me!
For you purists and/or minimalists out there who hate shopping but like to look chic anyway? You probably have a lot of black and white in your closet. Good for you! You don’t need to change a thing. NEXT!!!
I couldn’t resist purchasing a few business-casual classics for my office, which gets unbearably hot during the summer. The air conditioner breaks about three times a week, plus I’m on the top floor, so my clothes have to be sleeveless and/or machine washable, because I sweat. I refuse to wear pantyhose in the heat, so if I wear a dress I’m barelegged in slingback heels, which I kick off under my desk and only wear to meetings or to the bathroom. I keep a sweater or jacket on hand in the event the air conditioner kicks in. It’s either roasting or freezing in my office, so I have both a space heater and a fan in my cubicle!
This is what I’ll be wearing by day during the work week (under a sweater or jacket). . .
And this is what I’ll be wearing at night and on weekends: The retro stuff I found on EBay!
As for shoes? Since I have over 100 pair I think I’m covered!
Thanks for the birthday cards, Mom and Jen! And thank you, Bubbas Nightmare and VJ!!!! Your gifts arrived in the mail and they are wonderful!!! Separate posts coming up on each of them shortly.
For those of you following: Last night Scorpio and I curled up together and watched the Sopranos. Platonically. All is well!
My matching martini tonight as it is not a “real” martini, just some Crystal Light (?) or some generic, no calorie version of Strawberry Lemonade and juuuuuust enough lemon-flavored vodka to make it interesting. 138 calories and no carbs for a 6oz (large) martini!
The HPS Lightweight Strawberry Martini
2 parts No-Calorie Strawberry Lemonade
1 part plain or lemon Vodka
1 strawberry
The peignoir set is an Emka Haute Lingerie of uncertain vintage. The lace is incredibly lavish and the color contrast is unusual. I love it!
The shoes are new and by Bebe. I’m not sure if Bebe’s intent is for women to wear them in public? The summer dresses look like lingerie and even clear heels are in fashion! Looks as though I’ll be able to wear my pajamas outdoors this summer? We’ll see just what I can get away with, but I’ll only dress this way for a man who has done something to deserve it. Meanwhile I need to keep Gabby from chewing on the silver heels. She really thinks they’re neat. Look! Shiny!
As many of you already know, I have a hair disease and suffer from patchy hair loss. I look kind of like those guys in that movie where they do really stupid, reprehensible and dangerous things for kicks - what’s that movie called? Assholes? No. Idiots? Dipshits? I forget, but there’s this scene where they run around with a hair clipper buzzing each others heads and giving each other bald spots. Well, that’s what I look like all the time without even trying!
When I’m at home, with my family or off camping with the witches I just shave my head. Frankly, I think it looks kind of cool. Unfortunately when I appear in public with a shaved head people presume I have cancer and act very strangely around me, almost as if I were contagious or ready to kick off at any moment. I hate that. It makes me want to scream “I’m not dead yet!” with a Cockney accent. Also, I’m exceedingly vain and still interested in dating men, so I have several very expensive hairpieces. A new one arrived last week.
First thing: The company that makes my hairpieces boasts of providing me with a piece that is already “washed, styled, and ready to wear.” So what the FUCK is this? Are these people INSANE? Do I look as though I want to channel Bozo the Clown? Who styles their hair this way? I swear, if you do, unless it’s natural and you want to leave it that way I beg you to stop curling your hair. You are not doing yourself or anyone around you any favors. It’s time consuming and really really BAD FOR YOUR HAIR. STOP IT RIGHT NOW. Go shampoo. Please.
I dunked the hairpiece in the sink, slathered some heavy conditioner on it, rinsed it out and let it dry naturally. The next evening I had ordinary looking red hair. Much better. Happy HNT everyone!
Since I’m on the Atkins Diet alcoholic martinis are out of the question. With the exception of dark greens I can’t have carbohydrates at all for two weeks! I’ve lost two pounds already. Is it just water weight? Probably, since I just got my period.
However, I can always entertain y’all with my attempts to compensate for the boredom. How do you like my Atkins martini? Do I have a full slip that’s the color of cheese? Why of course I do!
(This slip was a gift from an online admirer whom I’ve never met)
Funny thing: At the peak of PMDD Threat Advisory Code Red I’m very predictable, even when very well medicated: I decide it’s time to hibernate until my period arrives. I have no red tent, no menstrual hut, and no sisterhood bleeding on my schedule, so I unplug myself from the internet and retreat to my bedroom to read and wait for the full moon.
This time my period arrived early! 26 days this cycle, instead of my usual 28-30. WTF? Now I remember that Bunny, who started menstruating a few months ago, was also due for hers any day now. Were we synchronizing our cycles? This is common: In fact when I worked in an all-female office we were ALL on the same cycle, which meant we all had PMS at the same time. It was . . . interesting.
Soooooooo . . . A cherry martini seems appropriate at this juncture! These photos were not taken tonight; they’re about a week old. Right now I’m in the induction phase of the Atkins Diet, trying to get my body fat down from 24.5% to 22% by the end of next week when I do my final weigh-in with Bear. It will be nice to be able to actually see the muscles I worked so hard to build!
Believe it or not, doctors and nutritionists have finally come to the realization that when it comes to dieting, high protein/low carb is much more effective, and better overall for one’s health, than high carb/low fat. If with Atkins I am unable to get myself down to 22% fat I at LEAST don’t want to be worse off, fat-wise, than I was when I started working out with Bear, so 23% is the most I’ll accept from myself. This means no more martini madness until further notice!
I’m already bored to tears with my meat-and-cheese diet. By “to tears” I mean I whimper while passing through the produce aisle at the supermarket. Bunny was a dear tonight and made some no-carb whipped cream for my dessert. Tonight I’ll probably dream of eating berries and cream!
The HPS Cherry Bombshell Martini
2 ounces cherry flavored vodka
2 ounce cherry juice
(or cherry liqueur if you’re feeling boozy)
Mix the usual way: A shaker with ice. If you like a little pucker with your alcohol you may also add a half an ounce of triple sec.
For your viewing pleasure tonight I give you cherries! Happy HNT, everyone!
Wild Cherry does “Play That Funky Music”
Neil Diamond does “Cherry Cherry”
Warrant does “Cherry Pie” (Hey kids! Ask your folks about hair bands!)
Sade does a much more mellow “Cherry Pie” (my personal fave)
1 1/2 oz Grape Vodka (3 Olives brand)
1/2 oz Triple Sec
1 1/2 oz 7-Up or lemon lime soda
I used club soda because I don’t have much of a sweet tooth. This recipe makes a clear drink so I also added a shot or two of real grape juice for color. Yummy!
As for the full slip of the day? It’s a Maidenform of uncertain vintage, and it is union made! It’s the closest I’ve been able to come to purple. I’m still looking for a real purple grape full slip!
I was going to inflict Barney the Dinosaur on y’all but found this instead. Can somebody explain this to me please?
I’m a bad girl for forgetting my HNT post but here it is! I think I’m in the middle of 230 essays right now. It’s just free therapy to me, but you’ll be seeing some of it soon because I found cool pictures for some of the better ones.
But my martini matches my slip! It’s Meyer Lemon season! Have you ever tried one? They are a lemon-tangerine hybrid, so they are a little more mellow than regular lemons. The peels are thin and you can eat them!
I surprised myself on this one: It’s good!
The X-Rated (plain) vodka is hand crafted in copper stills from wheat and roseberry grain and is distilled seven times. I may just have to try it.
My usual swill is equal parts Fusion and plain vodka, but tonight I took the X-Rated quiz and discovered that (of course) I’m Pampered Pink! I’m a vision of frills and frippery and bubbles and sure enough, everything about my persona and living space are reflections of my hardcore spoiled-but-sweet hedonism. If I were a Muppet I’d be Miss Piggy! Here is the signature drink the company has chosen for the likes of moi:
While working my Google Magic I discovered I might actually be in fashion, as it seems women all over the country are 
I went to bed early on my white satin sheets last night, and decided to wear this incredible nightgown designed by Emilio Pucci back in the 70’s. I love it: It’s a sheer mesh with strategically placed black lace, found on EBay of course. I also have a sheer black robe trimmed with black feathers that looks as though it belongs to this nightgown, so sometimes I wear the two pieces together. This is among my most glamorous and risque of my peignoirs.
The mod-martian look is also attempting a comeback, but I believe we may safely ignore it. Ditto the architectural flowers: No one will get on your case if you take a pass. Even if you pay homage to the trend with a metallic piece here and a floppy flower there, take heed: One bad choice and you’ll look like a clown! I have a silvery slip dress that I plan to wear this summer but I plan to keep it simple.
Thanks for the birthday cards, Mom and Jen! 
And thank you, Bubbas Nightmare and VJ!!!! Your gifts arrived in the mail and they are wonderful!!! Separate posts coming up on each of them shortly.
This time my period arrived early! 26 days this cycle, instead of my usual 28-30. WTF? Now I remember that Bunny, who started menstruating a few months ago, was also due for hers any day now. Were we synchronizing our cycles? This is common: In fact when I worked in an all-female office we were ALL on the same cycle, which meant we all had PMS at the same time. It was . . . interesting.
I’m already bored to tears with my meat-and-cheese diet. By “to tears” I mean I whimper while passing through the produce aisle at the supermarket. Bunny was a dear tonight and made some no-carb whipped cream for my dessert. Tonight I’ll probably dream of eating berries and cream!
I found a delicious grape martini recipe at 
