The Hedonistic Pleasureseeker

(If you would like to see a larger print version go see Mr. Cagle’s website, it’s awesome! He’s showing a retrospective of a friend’s comic series called Banana Republic. Blog illustration GOLD, I tell you!)

Thomas Friedman expressed the view that if the Republicans had remained in control of the House and the Senate, the US would have become a banana republic. But a banana republic isn’t characterized only by a rotten political system, ruled by a small, wealthy, and corrupt clique usually put in power or supported by foreign interests (in the 20th century, in the case of several Central and Latin American countries, by the US), but also by huge wealth and income inequities, poor infrastructure, backwardness in many sectors of the economy, low capital spending, a reliance on foreign capital, money printing and budget deficits, and of course a weakening currency.

A banana republic is also characterized by a ruling class that curtails people’s personal freedoms and is moving towards a heavy handed military dictatorship under the excuse of fighting guerrilla (or terrorist) opposition groups or enemies. Moreover, the fact that the ruling class or the elite comes from different political parties isn’t a relevant factor in classifying a country as a banana republic; what is relevant is the determination of the elite, irrespective of which party its members belong to, to shift wealth from the majority of the people (the masses) to themselves, usually through simply printing money and incurring chronic budget deficits, and frequently also through senseless warfare. (read the rest here)

Sound familiar? Isn’t the comic great? Except of course we need to understand that it’s not just the Republicans ruining our lives: The Democrats are just as bad. Besides, neocons aren’t “real” Republicans anyway. Also, most Banana Republics are socialist, communist or fascist dictatorships, the extreme left wing, where the Neocons started out and still belong. It seems fitting that when we all drive off the prosperity cliff we’ll have a socialist Democrat for a president.

Everything is apparently coming together for our fascist wannabes despite the small-but-vocal freedom-loving opposition. But did our corporate overlords think about the weather? Will global warming make it easier to grow sugar cane and bananas on North American Union soil? Will the labor concentration camps have air conditioning? Will they let the rest of us have chickens in the yard? So many questions.

Another thing you need to know: These days the US Dollar has all the caché of a third world currency, so things I’m writing here are not necessarily hyperbolic. It’s not going to get better, as our economic meltdown is deliberate, so if you haven’t offloaded your dollars do so now! Life is really miserable without food and toilet paper, so buy lots of it. For what it’s worth, if you’re buying bulk Amazon won’t charge shipping! Then buy more to barter with your clueless neighbors. Stock the liquor and medicine cabinets. Think ahead about what you’ll do if your medication is unavailable or unaffordable. If you’re rich, divest yourself from your U.S. entanglements, buy Japanese Yen and Chinese Yuan, pay off your house and buy a hybrid car. And gold, and silver. You can thank me later.

The Moment of Truth is probably going to hit each of us at different times, but no matter when you wake up the moment will require a martini. I was thinking a Grapes of Wrath martini but no: It’s still Chocolate Month! I’m making a Banana Republic martini! You and your friends can drink them while playing your Banana Republic board game!

(Go to Pico Shots to for a comparison of the major brands of banana liqueurs. DeKupyer “won” overall, but the schnapps had the best smell.)

1 shot each of:

chocolate vodka
banana vodka (for the taste)
banana schnapps (for the smell)
banana liqueur (for the color and taste)
Godiva Chocolate Cream liqueur

(click to play!)

The heather blooms in my front yard are covered in snow. What a beautiful day! Bunny’s school called a snow day, and it’s my day off from work. Our decadent breakfast: Fresh squeezed tangerine juice and REAL hot chocolate.

Ingredients:

4 cups whole milk
10 ounces semi-sweet chocolate, finely chopped

Optional ingredients for garnish:

Whipped cream
Chocolate shavings
Ground cinnamon
4 small cinnamon sticks

Instructions:

1. Place the milk in a medium saucepan over high heat. Bring to scalding, and then remove from heat.
2. Optional: Add a cinnamon stick, and allow to infuse for 15 minutes. Carefully remove the cinnamon stick.
3. Bring the milk back up to heat. Add the chocolate, and stir until the chocolate is melted and the milk is frothy.
4. Pour into mugs and garnish with the whipped cream, chocolate shavings, cinnamon and cinnamon stick. Serve immediately.

When it comes to the state of the economy there is nowhere to go but DOWN. What to do? Let’s see: Hoard food, medicine, toilet paper and and booze, and pay off the credit cards before they jack up the rates? All good things to be sure; however, there is one thing you MUST remember to do before it’s too late, especially if you’re a woman:

Chocolate. Make sure you have all the chocolate you need to last for several months.

Chocolate bars get stale, so don’t get too much. I’d say several bars of baking chocolate (10-20) and if you don’t eat them before they turn stale you can sell them for a million dollars to the clueless and unprepared people in your neighborhood.

Buy several cans of chocolate sauce; it lasts a long time. Barring Divine Intervention the Godiva Chocolate Liqueur will be about a hundred dollars a bottle next year, so it behooves one to learn how to make a chocolatini on the cheap. Here’s what to do:

Buy a few gallons of cheap vodka, the kind in the plastic bottles on the bottom shelf at your local liquor store. Then buy the biggest bottle of Creme de Cacao you can afford and a few cans of chocolate syrup. Powdered cocoa is optional:

Chocolatini on the Cheap

2 parts plain vodka
1 part creme de cacao
1 part chocolate syrup
cocoa powder

Rim your martini glass with chocolate syrup and dip the rim into powdered cocoa if you’re in the mood to be fancy; otherwise skip it. Mix the liquid ingredients in a shaker with ice and strain into the martini glass. It’s the most chocolatey martini I’ve tasted so far. Enjoy!

(This is Aria Giovanni. From the looks of the internet she likes to be nekkid a lot.)

Snow Queen Martini

1 Part Vodka
1 Part Godiva White Chocolate Liqueur
1 Part Peppermint Schnapps
1 Tbsp of shaved white or dark chocolate
1 Cherry (garnishes always optional)

Optional: Use shaved white garnish to rim the glass if you feel like it. Use chocolate sauce to make it stick!

Shake the vodka, Godiva, and Peppermint Schnapps together with ice. Pour into the glass, straining the ice, and garnish with the remainder of the shaved chocolate and the cherry.

“The Legend of the Snow Queen” High heel shoe art made from wire, plaster, feathers and crushed glass by Jenni Dutton. Visit her site here. Found at the World Famous High Heel Museum!

When I got home and looked at my supermarket receipt I noticed I paid $8 for two plain organic chocolate bars. OK, they’re organic, but $8?

But I love chocolate. And I want organic. I’ve become very suspicious of the food grown here and overseas with too many pesticides or hormones or etcetera. Genetically modified foods, or foods with human growth hormone aren’t even labeled as such! MSG is hidden by listing “spices” in the ingredients, wheat gluten is lurking everywhere and it seems everything has corn syrup in it these days.

What’s a girl to do? OK for now this is all you can do: If you discover you have a favorite, or at least a preferred brand/type of chocolate, and hyperinflation is looming and you don’t have the money, what do you do? You buy it by the CASE! NOW before the prices go crazy! Amazon.com has free shipping, though I’m looking for small business sources for my bulk buys. I’ve made a lot of bulk buys. There are a lot of different brands because the organic chocolate business is booming in the United States:

Jay Jacobowitz, president of Retail Insights, a consulting service for natural products retailers, said the trajectory for organic chocolate will likely track that of the organic food market, which is on a double-digit growth spurt.

Organic chocolate is made from cocoa grown without pesticides and herbicides. Producers use certified organic sugar, essential oils, fruits, and nuts in accordance with USDA organic regulations.

In the chocolate market, as in other food areas, education about issues like sustainability and fair trade, as well as product quality, has evolved.

“We have a growing interest in where our food comes from, its pedigree,” Jacobowitz said.

Pedigreed food? (giggle snort) OK maybe he has a point. Once you finally internalize the fact (the FACT, not the opinion) that the food industry and the USDA either 1) don’t have our best interests at heart; or 2) couldn’t do anything about it if they did, the normal response should be to light a fire under your own ass and hop to it: What are you going to put in your body, the only one you’re gonna get this time around? What kinds of habits do you want the next generation to adopt from watching you?Yes, organic is more expensive. YES, a lot of us are po. Not just poor, but downright po. I understand (been there, done that!). But you know what? Americans aren’t starving. In fact we’re the most bloated humans on the planet. Most of us can afford to eat fewer, but higher quality calories, that don’t poison our water and our children’s futures.

Maybe I’m just perverse but I actually get a charge out of fondling that ONE organic potato I’m going to take home. Try it! One per family member. You think about how you want to prepare it, and what you want to put on it. You slowly savor every bite. Sorry if this doesn’t resonate with you but it’s downright erotic to me. The $5 organic mango is a bit much, though. Skip it if it’s out of season!

But back to chocolate. OMG. I bought a case of organic chocolate and saved at least a dollar on every bar! Just enough to get me through a few months of savoring, but not so much that it will get stale. I like variety in my chocolates but you know what? I know how to make my own truffles, so all I need are bars of 70% cocoa and I’m in business. Yum!

I surprised myself on this one: It’s good!

Do you like the taste of chocolate and tropical fruits? Have I got a vodka martini for you! The smell is divine: Complex, with wafts of real chocolate and vanilla weaving through exotic fruit juice.

Chocolate and tropical fruits are among my favorite flavor combinations; they evoke a sense of leisure and decadence, and strike that perfect balance between health food and dessert. The best of both worlds!

You will need:

Tropicocoa

2 oz Three Olives Chocolate Vodka (the best!)
1 oz X-Rated Fusion (passion fruit, mango)
1 oz Vincent Van Gogh Pineapple Vodka
1 oz White Creme de Cacao, any brand

Instruction: Simple, the usual: Combine ingredients in a shaker with ice. Shake at least fifteen seconds! And look: I just combined Half Nekkid Thursday, a Month of Chocolate and Matching Martini Madness in one post!

(She’d weigh less if she took off her shoes!)

I gained 5 pounds during my Month of Chocolate. Oops! It was probably all those chocolate martinis! Should I bump up my time with Bear to three times a week instead of two? Are you kidding? At this time of the month I consider myself valiant if I get to the gym ONCE a week! Perhaps I should just say “Screw it: Cover me in chocolate and throw me to the lesbians!” I close out the month with that funny chocolate song, only because I’m in a weird mood:

Piles of unopened mail mock me. I’m at PMDD Threat Advisory Code Red but at 200mg of Zoloft I’m doing much better this month. I’m only feeling tired and useless and my sex drive is shot to hell. Considering the alternative, I’ll take it!

I won’t be able to give you last weekend’s story in real time but remember: It took me several weeks to write the Porn Queen Chronicles! I’ll write this one as soon as I can; the story is still developing in some very interesting and unexpected ways. Stay tuned.

Meanwhile, it’s the last evening of our Month of Chocolate!

I discovered the joys of feasting on chocolate and wine by accident. It turns out the combination is quite good! I especially love chocolate covered raspberries with a dark burgundy or merlot, mmmmmmmmmmm.

Of course, the best combination is a very dark chocolate with a deep red wine. Both have fewer carbohydrates than your usual dessert/alcohol combinations, and both have plenty of antioxidants, so you may even convince yourselves that you’re eating healthily!

Wine experts have expressed their opinions on which wines taste best with chocolate, so here are a few:

Surf4wine in the UK recommends Muscat dessert wines.

Cocoavino in New York recommends Malbec, Shiraz, Grenache, and Banyuls, probably the same Banyuls recommended to me by a very excited sommelier at Corkscrewed. It’s a Vin Doux Naturel, a dessert wine (think vintage port) made exclusively with grenache noir grapes and fortified with grape spirit. I bought it and it was indescribably good, rich and mellow and unlike any wine I’d tasted before. Cocovino says it’s the hidden raspberry notes, but I don’t understand them: If it’s hidden, how may one taste it? If I had to describe it I suppose I’d call it “fruity,” but what it really is, I think, is “grapey.”

I also bought a medium-dry Madiera wine (Alvada Madiera) at Corkscrewed, supposedly an acquired taste but I acquired it quickly! It’s an oxidized wine (meaning, it’s already gone “bad”) used often in cooking. It tasted like raisins to me and as you know, raisins go very well with chocolate! It’s supposed to taste good slightly heated.

At LoveSicily, they found some interesting combinations: A Cinnamon-spiced chocolate with a sweet wine, and a chili-spiced chocolate with slightly dry Marsala (fortified) wine! They sound amazing!

. . . by far the most interesting was the combination between the chilli chocolate and an excellent quality marsala wine. You might think that marsala and chocolate is just too much sweetness together, however good marsala is anything but sickly sweet. It is a complex, slightly dry taste with an aftertaste that lingers on and develops in the mouth. This works well with the chocolate, which, after the initial sweetness, chilli then kicks in. The result on the pallet is, especially for a chocolate lover, quite an addictive combination.

So have I tried the Marsala/Chili-chocolate combination? Not yet, but I will! I have not found a chili-flavored chocolate that’s spicy enough yet. I might have to make my own!

I had to translate this one from French before I could post it: It’s INSANE! It’s a Christmas dish but why reserve it for once a year? Please! This is probably a diabetes attack just begging to happen but trust me, you’ll die happy! Here:

Divine marchioness with the chocolate for Christmas

Consistent richness… without cholesterol nor sugar!

Topics cliquables: marchioness - Anne-Laure - chocolate - pot - food film - serves - OK for health (without cholesterol nor sugar) - Christmas

As you know it, I am with my third test of reconstitution of the “marchioness to the chocolate of Anne-Laure”

- to click here to see the first test
- to click here to see the second test

• The marchioness with the chocolate of Anne-Laure is characterized mainly by the fact that it does not contain a gram of added SUGAR (it contains only glucids of the chocolate).

• It almost does not contain CHOLESTEROL either: there is only black chocolate (not cholesterol), egg white (not of cholesterol) and a little butter (112,5 cholesterol Mg for a marchioness of 500 G, therefore brought back to a share it is almost null); I finally advise you to add to it a dessertspoon (10 ml) of fresh cream reduced to bind (almost no one out of cholesterol: one can speak about “traces”).

***

This time I did everything to perfection, i.e. instead of making a “test out of test-tube” or almost, I worked out a TRUE MARCHIONESS, in sufficient quantity to fill the best possible container (that which would give the best possible form: the shape of cake, all in all), and by applying me to each stage to obtain the best possible result (the smoothest chocolate, the purest egg white…).

I thus have, in the order:

1°) selected a true POT as it is necessary (500 ml) to make beautiful sections, and I papered it food plastic film:

(just a small council: to avoid panic with the release from the mould, pass a little oil on the walls of the pot before installing plastic film, it is what I will do the next time! A few moments ago, I failed to give up unmoulding it so much the plastic adhered to the pot… and then finally it came from a blow; but with oil the release from the mould certainly would be very facilitated)
2°) bought good chocolate (of Nestle with cocoa 70%). For a pot of 500 ml, one needed 270 G of BLACK CHOCOLATE For 70% which I put to melt all gently:

3°) before adding 45 G of FRESH BUTTER to it and whipping until obtaining a perfectly smooth mixture:

Mmmmmmmm…. it is already splendid, not?

4°) then I filtered, yes FILTERED 6 EGG WHITES in a metal strainer with fine grid (practical usual of the pastrycooks chiefs of 3-stars…).
At the beginning the white did not pass in my strainer in spite of my efforts to agitate it with a spoon, then I ended up understanding that it was necessary TO ACT AS LOWER PART of the strainer, while scraping with a blade of knife: in this way, that goes very quickly and the result is perfect. It does not remain any more in the strainer but the germs, the impurities and approximately 1 spoon of very thick white which does not want to pass. Beurk! To throw without remorse.

5°)… before beating them with the whip (by adding a salt pinch, and while beating patiently, without exciting themselves - one should not almost hear the noise of the whip on the walls, the goal not being to massacre our white but to make there enter of the air… and that takes time that that takes!) :

6°) Then, I incorporated the white snows about it with the molten chocolate. It is necessary well to beat, not to worry to break the white. What one wants, it is a perfectly smooth texture.

7°) to finish and add binder, I incorporated 1 large coffee spoon very full with THICK FRESH CREAM In 4%. Why not a little more? There, it is really as it is felt…

8°) I filled the pot and I covered it, then I put it at the refrigerator (Sunday 28 à11: 45):

9°)… We had patience to wait 3 days full…

… and today Wednesday 1 to 14 H, here is the RESULT:

It is beautiful, not?

It cuts out and is held very well (smooth knife, passed under very hot water and wiped well).

It releases a rather extraordinary chocolate perfume, and Jacques, Camille and me unanimously considered to be very aromatic, very suave, and really consistent and rich… but without heaviness: incredible. Ideal.
With the dessert, one fixes rather quickly because it is filling.
But it is felt that one “is not leaded”, and it is what I adore in a dessert. One leaves table rather light, but really the saturated papillae. “There is a life after the meal! ”, as somebody would say.

Impression of lightness confirmed by a observation chimico-housewife: I had piled up in the sink the knives used to cut the sections of marchioness, and the plates on which had tasted we it. All had dried.
While passing them under water, of only one blow of sponge or brush they were clean - what one does not obtain absolutely with preparations containing of the egg yolk and/or sugar: it is always necessary to let them soak before hoping to wash them easily.

***

Assessment: cheer… 20/20, if not more. I estimate myself finally satisfied.
My contract is filled: they is SUMPTUOUS to taste and it is (almost) good for health.

Why recommend it to you for Christmas? Because in my opinion it is definitely lighter than a log after turkey or the roe-deer with chestnuts, but that at the same time it is very satisfactory for the palate and makes it possible to finish a feast on a rich and refined note. Moreover, everyone likes the chocolate, not?
I am sure that a pot of 500 G is enough largely for 8 people (only adult or children because the teenagers, it is straightforwardly another species: the quantities can vary from 1 to 10!!!).

I prepared a few moments ago, just to have fun, a plate of marchioness of Christmas: brilliant, clinquante, kitsch…: -)))
(finally, I can make quite worse than that, but for you I remained reasonable)

I believe that one will remake oneself some like that…: -)

Good appetite with all!

It’s still a MONTH OF CHOCOLATE!

more to come!

(Wrist Exercises at the Lair of the Hedonistic Pleasureseeker)

There are so many chocolate martini recipes on the internet that I grew tired of looking for them, so I started making my own! Anything that tastes good with chocolate can be made a part of a vodka martini, so here are three recipes I tried during the month of February. The first is based loosely upon a suggestion in the little booklet that came with my new bottle of Chambord:

Raspberry Mochatini

1 1/2 shots chocolate flavored vodka
1 shot coffee liqueur (I use Starbucks because it’s not as sweet as Kahluha)
3/4 shot dark creme de cacao or chocolate liqueur
3/4 shot Chambord or raspberry liqueur
1 shot of chocolate syrup (optional)

Invisible Chocolatini

2 shots chocolate vodka
2 shots clear creme de cacao

Chocolate Orange Martini

1 1/2 shots vanilla vodka
1 1/2 shots Godiva white or dark chocolate creme liqueur
1 shot Grand Marnier

(Vintage boudoir slippers, circa 1950ish)

(Bunny serves chocolate covered strawberries at a pagan gathering in 2005)

Are you a chocoholic on a diet? Trying to get more fruits and vegetables into your life? Try dipping fruit in tempered dark chocolate! Dark chocolate has very little sugar in it and the fat is monosaturated, i.e., “good” fat that won’t raise your cholesterol level. Dark chocolate is also high in antioxidants. Chocolate almost qualifies as a health food!

If buying chocolate covered fruit blows your food budget you may make your own. You can go to the supermarket and buy some fruit and a Bakers Dipping Chocolate. However, if you prefer to use your own favorite dark chocolate you can make your own. All it takes is a basic understanding of how chocolate reacts to temperature. So let’s get started!

Chop up a large bar of dark baking chocolate and place into the top of a double boiler set over simmering water. Why a double boiler? Chocolate reacts badly to fast heating at high temperatures. It’s important to heat chocolate slowly and carefully so that the oils won’t separate from the cocoa.  Tempered correctly, chocolate will have a nice snap to it once it cools. Tempered incorrectly it will only make a mess!

When the chocolate is three-quarters melted, remove the bowl from the water and stir slowly but constantly. Stirring will distribute the still-tempered crystals throughout the chocolate and cause the other crystals to temper. The melted chocolate will be at around 95 to 96 degrees farenheit. Because the melting point of chocolate is actually below body temperature, it will feel slightly cool to the touch. When it is lifted on a spatula and drizzled onto itself, tempered chocolate will form ribbons on the surface of the chocolate. You can also test by dipping a knife blade in the chocolate and setting it on a plate to cool for about 5 minutes. When the chocolate on the knife is set, it shouldn’t have any streaks.

If the process of tempering goes to far, the chocolate may start to solidify in the bowl. Return it to the double boiler and stir briefly over warm water just long enough to remelt it. A workable temperature for tempered chocolate is 89 to 91 degrees.

Dip your fruit in the tempered chocolate and place on parchment paper. Allow to set in the refrigerator.

Source: The Essence of Chocolate

(Cocoa powder leaves residue in the glass. I don’t care!)

The HPS Chocolatini

1 shot Godiva Chocolate Liqueur (dark)
1 shot Bailey’s Irish Cream
1 shot chocolate flavored vodka
1 shot creme de cacao
1 tsp chocolate (shaved, powdered or Hershey’s syrup)
garnish or decorations (optional, see commentary)

Mix as you would any martini: In a shaker with ice. Pour into martini glasses that you’ve chilled in the freezer.

If you want to show off, put a little knife slice in a chocolate truffle and place it on the glass. You may also drizzle Hershey’s chocolate syrup (buy the squeeze bottle!) in a random pattern inside the glass. Another option is to dip the rim of the glass in chocolate syrup and then some cocoa powder. The thing I love about this martini is that you may decide how sweet you want it to be by the kind of chocolate you use. I don’t have a sweet tooth so I use unsweetened cocoa powder. Other chocoholics might prefer to use a sweetened cocoa mix or chocolate syrup. To each his or her own. Bottoms up!

Happy HNT, everyone!

Kylie Minogue has a song about chocolate? Okay! It looks as though whoever is doing the dancing (Kylie?) has been classically trained, which in moi’s opinion is super-cool. At any rate, whatever your skill level, it’s Hump Day, so dance it out!

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Postscript:  Hey, now I remember I supposedly look a lot like her sister. Well then!

This recipe is courtesy of Dates Bubbas!

Four-Chip Fudge

1-1/2 tsp plus 3/4 cup butter (no substitutes), divided
1 can (14 oz.) sweetened condensed milk
3 Tbls milk
1 package (12 oz.) semisweet chocolate chips
1 package (11-1/2 oz.) milk chocolate chips
1 package (10 oz.) peanut butter chips
1 cup butterscotch chips
1 jar (7 oz.) marshmallow crème
1/2 tsp almond extract
1/2 tsp. vanilla extract
1 cup chopped walnuts (optional)

Line a 13 X 9 X 2 inch pan with foil and grease the foil with 1-1/2 tsps butter; set aside.

In a large heavy saucepan, melt the remaining butter over low heat. Add the next five ingredients. Cook and stir constantly until smooth.

Remove from the heat; stir in the butterscotch chips, marshmallow crème and extracts until well blended. Stir in nuts.

Spread into prepared pan. Refrigerate until set. Lift out of pan and remove foil; cut into squares. Store in refrigerator. Yield: about 4-1/2 pounds

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I’ll be the first to admit that if a recipe that I try fails, it is because I Didn’t Read the Directions. For instance, I left the pot on the stove and completely forgot about it, so the oils separated from the chocolate. Fortunately I knew how to repair it: Whisk in several splashes of cold half and half. I completely forgot to add the extracts. I also threw in an extra bag of white chocolate chips for good measure because, eh, why not? I almost didn’t put in the marshmallow puff because it’s against my religion but I ended up using it anyway. I didn’t mix well because I wanted the concoction to be all swirly like the fudge pictured above.

The verdict? The stuff is yummy and swweeeeeeeeet! It’s almost too sweet for moi as I don’t have much of a sweet tooth in the first place, so next time I’ll probably use more bittersweet chocolate than milk chocolate. I might also try unsweetened condensed milk. However, I know Bunny will go crazy over this fudge when she gets home from jet-setting with her father, because that child inherited my dad’s family’s sweet tooth! I froze about 3/4 of it to keep her from eating it all in one sitting, because as the old joke goes, “My family is like fudge: Mostly sweet, but sometimes a little nutty.”