The Hedonistic Pleasureseeker

God Speaks With the Voice of My Lover

He felt safer as an idea
Green Man, Smiling Pan
An abstract thought in times of freeze and thaw

But now He faces me
Adonis ablaze
United in love-death
Blood spilling, torn to pieces
Setting fire to my world.

- HPS 1998

Lovely Livvy at English Courtesan tagged me for another meme a few weeks ago: The Six Word Memoir. It took me a day or two to think things through: What short phrase could distill my life’s meaning into a tidy little package? What a daunting task! I decided to take a long weekend to think about it. My whole life. Six Words. Okay.

Intent is like an onion: Just keep peeling away at the dry layers and eventually you’ll find a seemingly endless supply of soft, slippery translucent films of sweet and sour meaning. My relationships mirror my spiritual understandings, and fluctuating relationships (especially with men) follow the seasons: Springtime for blossoming and/or rekindling (Ace of Wands), Summer for ecstasy (The Lovers), Autumn for the Apocalypse or Awakening (The Tower), Winter for yearning, grief and/or hibernation/stasis (Five of Cups or the Hermit). My entire adult life is about ricocheting painfully between the excesses of intimacy and estrangement.

(Four Seasons, One Tree)

Finally, while on the road to visit Jen in Massachusetts the phrase just “popped:” Awaiting the Return of the King. This was my six word memoir, the story of my life on SO many levels. My spiritual, sexual, romantic and social lives are deeply consistent: Passive, steadfast and patient, I still lie in wait (adorably of course), yearning for the return of that which I once had whether it be a person, a feeling or a level of understanding. It sounds pretty lame; I mean, what a way to romanticize what is probably nothing more than Seasonal Affective Disorder! Why don’t I take a more aggressive stance and grab - ahem - life - by the balls?

Well, here’s the interesting part: I’m never disappointed with the results. They always return, whether I want them by then or not. I actually call a few of my old lovers “Boomerang Men.” Perhaps the answer is not to medicate my way through my personal winters, but to just roll with them and wait for Springtime.

Which reminds me of a story. I went to New Orleans with a group of witches in 1998 and we did the typically witchy New Orleans things: The graveyards, the voodoo museums, the midnight ghost tours. The highlight of that long weekend was a visit with Voodoo queen Mambo Miriam. So much wisdom wrapped up in that tiny turban.

We chatted about Mistress Erzulie, the Goddess of Love, Passion and Jealousy, Motherhood and Beauty. Erzulie can be thought of as a mashup of the Goddess Venus/Aphrodite and Virgin/Mother Mary. Erzulie was Mambo Miriam’s favorite among the Lwa, and she told us the story of her late third husband, a sorcerer, medicine man and legendary wanderer. “The Goddess Erzulie is constant, but the Gods who worship her are not. Meh: They come and go, but Erzulie is patient.” There was a metaphysical rubber band between her and her third and last husband: He wandered off sometimes, but he always came back. “When I was young it bothered me. I was so jealous! But . . .” she shrugged, “I got used to it, and then I came to know Mistress Erzulie. She is very wise.”

She stopped, cocked her head and took another tack. “Or, you could think of men like planets, and women like the sun. It feels like they go away . . . but they’re just . . . they just go round and around. Sometimes you look to the sky and it looks like they’re even going backwards.” She chuckled a little. “Once he went away for a year and I didn’t even care. I knew he’d be back.” For some reason she decided to look directly at me. “That’s how you tell when a man loves you: He keeps coming around. That’s how you know.” She leaned over toward me and whispered, “Don’t worry; you can have more than one.” Then she winked, and everybody laughed.

(This is the last full lunar eclipse you will see for almost three years)

Full Moon Names for 2008

By Joe Rao
SPACE.com Skywatching Columnist
posted: 18 January 2008
06:23 am ET

Full moon names were bestowed by the Native Americans of what is now the northern and eastern United States. A few hundred years ago, those tribes kept track of the seasons by giving distinctive names to each recurring full moon. Their names were applied to the entire month in which each occurred.

There were some variations in the moon names, but in general the same ones were current throughout the Algonquin tribes from New England on west to Lake Superior. European settlers followed their own customs and created some of their own names. Since the lunar (”synodic”) month is roughly 29.5 days in length on average, the dates of the full moon shift from year to year.

Here is a listing of all the full moon names, as well as the dates and times for 2008. Unless otherwise noted, all times are for the Eastern Time Zone.

Jan. 22, 8:35 a.m. EST — Full Wolf Moon. Amid the zero cold and deep snows of midwinter, the wolf packs howled hungrily outside Indian villages. It was also known as the Old Moon or the moon after Yule. In some tribes this was the Full Snow Moon; most applied that name to the next moon.

Feb. 20, 10:30 p.m. EST — Full Snow Moon. Usually the heaviest snows fall in this month. Hunting becomes very difficult, and hence to some tribes this was the Full Hunger Moon. This is also the night of a Total Lunar Eclipse. North and South Americans will have a ringside seat for this event and will take place during convenient evening hours. Observers in western Europe and western Africa will see this eclipse from start to finish during the morning hours of February 21.

Mar. 21, 2:40 p.m. EDT — Full Worm Moon. In this month the ground softens and the earthworm casts reappear, inviting the return of the robins. The more northern tribes knew this as the Full Crow Moon, when the cawing of crows signals the end of winter, or the Full Crust Moon because the snow cover becomes crusted from thawing by day and freezing at night. The Full Sap Moon, marking the time of tapping maple trees, is another variation. This is also the Paschal Full Moon; the first full moon of the spring season. The first Sunday following the Paschal Moon is Easter Sunday, which indeed will be observed two days later on Sunday, March 23. This will, in fact, be the earliest Easter since 1913.

Apr. 20, 6:25 a.m. EDT — Full Pink Moon. The grass pink or wild ground phlox is one of the earliest widespread flowers of the spring. Other names were the Full Sprouting Grass Moon, the Egg Moon, and — among coastal tribes — the Full Fish Moon, when the shad came upstream to spawn.

May 19, 9:11 p.m. EDT — Full Flower Moon. Flowers are abundant everywhere. It was also known as the Full Corn Planting Moon or the Milk Moon. Since the moon arrives at apogee less than 12 hours later, this will also be the smallest full moon of 2008. In terms of apparent size, it will appear 12.3 percent smaller than the full moon of Dec. 12.

Jun. 18, 1:30 p.m. EDT — Full Strawberry Moon. Known to every Algonquin tribe. Europeans called it the Rose Moon.

Jul. 18, 3:59 a.m. EDT — Full Buck Moon, when the new antlers of buck deer push out from their foreheads in coatings of velvety fur. It was also often called the Full Thunder Moon, thunderstorms being now most frequent. Sometimes also called the Full Hay Moon.

Aug. 16, 5:16 p.m. EDT — Full Sturgeon Moon, when this large fish of the Great Lakes and other major bodies of water like Lake Champlain is most readily caught. A few tribes knew it as the Full Red Moon because the moon rises looking reddish through sultry haze, or the Green Corn Moon or Grain Moon. There will be a Partial Lunar Eclipse that will be visible from Europe, Africa and the western two-thirds of Asia with this full moon. At its maximum 81 percent of the moon’s diameter will become immersed in the Earth’s dark umbral shadow.

Sep. 15, 5:13 a.m. EDT — Full Harvest Moon. Traditionally, this designation goes to the full moon that occurs closest to the Autumnal (fall) Equinox. The Harvest Moon usually comes in September, but (on average) about every three or four years it will fall in early October. At the peak of the harvest, farmers can work into the night by the light of this moon. Usually the full Moon rises an average of 50 minutes later each night, but for the few nights around the Harvest Moon, the moon seems to rise at nearly the same time each night: just 25 to 30 minutes later across the U.S., and only 10 to 20 minutes later for much of Canada and Europe. Corn, pumpkins, squash, beans, and wild rice — the chief Indian staples — are now ready for gathering.

Oct. 14, 4:02 p.m. EDT — Full Hunters’ Moon. With the leaves falling and the deer fattened, it is time to hunt. Since the fields have been reaped, hunters can ride over the stubble, and can more easily see the fox, along with other animals, which have come out to glean and can be caught for a thanksgiving banquet after the harvest.

Nov. 13, 1:17 a.m. EST — Full Beaver Moon. Time to set beaver traps before the swamps freeze to ensure a supply of warm winter furs. Another interpretation suggests that the name Beaver Full Moon come from the fact that the beavers are now active in their preparation for winter. Also called the Frosty Moon.

Dec. 12, 11:37 a.m. EST — Full Cold Moon; among some tribes, the Full Long Nights Moon. In this month the winter cold fastens its grip, and the nights are at their longest and darkest. Also sometimes called the Moon before Yule. The term Long Night Moon is a doubly appropriate name because the midwinter night is indeed long and the moon is above the horizon a long time. The midwinter full moon takes a high trajectory across the sky because it is opposite to the low Sun. The moon will also be at perigee later this day, at 5:00 p.m. EST, at a distance of 221,560 mi. (356,566 km.) from Earth. Very high ocean tides can be expected from the coincidence of perigee with full moon.

Imbolc or Imbolg, also known as Candlemas and Groundhog’s Day, takes place during the early part of February. It marks the midpoint of Winter and the beginning of the lambing season, when the momma sheep start to make their milk. This is where the Celtic name Imbolc/g came from: Oimelc = Sheep’s milk.

Also called: Candlemas, Oimelc, Brigid’s Day
dates: February 2, early February
colors: white, red
energy: conception, initiation, inspiration
goddesses: Brigid, Maiden
customs: lighting candles, seeking omens of Spring, cleaning house, welcoming Brigid, Celtic goddess of fire, forge and hearth, poetry, healing, childbirth and unity.

Let me ’splain ’bout yesterday. I wasn’t really hallucinating; well maybe I was but not in the way you might think. It was just this thing that I do occasionally: Lucid Dream. I’m used to it by now.

If you’re the regular sort you probably experienced your first lucid dream at your first big slumber party. Remember how the plan was to stay awake all night watching movies? Anyone who fell asleep was a baby!

So there you were, watching or whatever and then you hit that place: That inbetween state between waking and sleeping. You saw shapes. You saw people. You saw a story developing but it wasn’t on the TV. You jerked yourself out of it but it happened again and again. The next thing you knew you were listening to one of your friends pouring Fruit Loops into a plastic bowl, the sun was up and you really had to pee.

(Hey! It’s me!)

Welcome to the Realm of the Lucid Dream, or in this case the Wake-initiation of lucid dreams (WILD). Here is an explanation of the WILD phenomenon from Wikipedia:

The wake-initiated lucid dream “occurs when the sleeper enters REM sleep with unbroken self-awareness directly from the waking state“.^[21] There are many techniques aimed at entering a WILD. The key to these techniques is recognizing the hypnagogic stage, which is within the border of being awake and being asleep. If a person is successful in staying aware while this stage occurs, he or she will eventually enter the dream state while being fully aware that it is a dream.

There are key times at which this state is best entered; while success at night after being awake for a long time is very difficult, it is relatively easy after being awake for 15 or so minutes and in the afternoon during a nap. Techniques for inducing WILDs abound. Dreamers may count, envision themselves climbing or descending stairs, chant to themselves, explore elaborate, passive sexual fantasies, control their breathing, counting their breaths to keep their thoughts from drifting, concentrate on relaxing their body from their toes to their head, allow images to flow through their “mind’s eye” and envision themselves jumping into the image, to maintain concentration and keep their mind awake, while still being calm enough to let their body sleep.

During the actual transition into the dream state, one is likely to experience sleep paralysis, including rapid vibrations,^[9] a sequence of loud sounds and a feeling of twirling into another state of body awareness, “to drift off into another dimension”. Also there is frequently a sensation of falling rapidly or dropping through the bed as one enters the dream state. After the transition there may be the sensation of entering a dark black room from which one can induce any dream scenario of one’s choosing, simply by concentrating on it. The key to success is not to panic, especially during the transition, which can be quite sudden.

 

This is the story of my life. Now that I’m used to it the experiences aren’t so bad. For instance last night, as soon as I saw the trees at the side of the road growing and turning into buildings I knew I was in for it: Either I was sleep deprived or I was too relaxed. My money was on sleep deprivation. So I took the back roads home, and had it gotten really bad I would have pulled over to the side of the road.

When does it usually happen? The InBetween: Any place where I am neither here-nor-there can trigger it: Between asleep and awake, spring and autumn, twilight and dawn , mist and fog. On the “awake” end of the spectrum (”dreaming awake”) I see my dreams superimposed over my waking reality, like the car in the double-exposed photograph above. Lucky for me I only rarely see people or I would be dead from a heart attack by now! Usually I just see weird shapes such as the slinky thingy in the photo posted below.

On the “sleep” end of the spectrum (”awakened dream”) I dream like a normal person but I can direct and influence events and feel as though I’m awake. Those “dreams” feel normal because I’m engaged in waking activities such as driving to work or going to school. Sometimes I “false awake” and go through my morning ritual not knowing that I’m still asleep! My bladder eventually tips me off and the surprise of it wakes me for real.

So that was me driving home last night. It was probably sleep deprivation as my body can’t seem to decide how much sleep it needs anymore. It may just be time for pharmaceutical interference, if only for awhile. We shall see.

The jokes almost write themselves, don’t they?

(I celebrated Hump Day early this week)

The only consolation I get from forgetting to mark the full moon is that afterwards I am usually able to find a film clip of it somewhere. This was filmed on Monday, October 26, 2007. .

(It’s that time of year again, when I renew my faith and vow to be a better witch)

I opened my eyes: I was in Scorpio’s bed again with my legs tangled up in his. I nestled my head in the crook of his arm and gave him a quick kiss. “Good morning sweetie.”

He gave me a sleepy smile. “Good morning.” We lay there for a minute or so before he spoke again. “I had a dream about you last night.”

“Really? Do tell.”

“You started going to church again and your hair grew back.”

Now I know what “peals of laughter” sound like, at least when they come from me. Being a run-of-the-mill lazy sorceress I only enter Christian houses of worship for weddings and funerals. I have absolutely no interest in returning to the faith of my childhood. I’d rather be bald.

“Really? That’s interesting. How did it end?”

“With your hair growing back. That’s about it. It was pretty wild.”

I lay there quietly, wondering. I’m pretty good at interpretation, of both my dreams and others’ (so long that I know them well). I know that when Scorpio looks at me he still sees a shiksa, a Gentile woman, and to him Gentile = Christian. He never did get comfortable with seeing me as a witch, which is probably my fault for cleaning up so good and being so “normal” around him. Still, I remain careful around him because psychic and otherworldly phenomena freak Scorpio out, almost upsets him. “When shit like that happens you probably think it’s cool,” he told me once. “But all I can think of is the Amityville Horror and GET OUT! GET OUT!”

I stuck my nose in Scorpio’s armpit and breathed deeply. I love the way he smells, like a musky cologne. Then the lightbulb in my brain clicked on. It was that time of year again. “Hey, I know what it means. I just interpreted your dream!” He said nothing and changed the subject, and I knew he didn’t care to hear it.”Is it coffee time?” I asked.

“You just read my mind. I was just opening my mouth to say the exact same thing.”

“Coincidence, probably,” I shrugged.

This video is pretty trippy. I like it because it put me into a trance. Remember, there’s a full moon eclipse tonight!

(I’ve added another foodie site to my sidebar; check it!)

Rocky Shoals Spider Lily Full Flower Moon