The Hedonistic Pleasureseeker

hi, cum to Florida?… everyone else from Jersey is here?

- Some Guy

Never answer an online dating message in which your potential suitor spells come as “cum.”

So many midpoints, so little patience. I’m half way through my summer classes: Midterm tests and papers are complete, and I’m gearing up final tests and papers. I will never take TWO summer classes at the same time again! By August I shall be free, but for now I don’t have much time for anything except homework.

Bunny didn’t get the summer job that she wanted, so she’s making money doing extra work around the house. It’s cut my own housework burden in half! Now if only I didn’t STILL have to scream at her to get her to do it.

I am half way to my weight goal. I’m enjoying my cardio very much these days. I love breaking a sweat because - and I know this probably seems weird - it gives me flashbacks of my nights at the burlesque. The dance bug may be biting me again soon, and I can’t wait until August to find out!

Half of me wants to start dating again and half of me doesn’t. Andrew has been calling; he wants me to fly out to Hollyweird to see him again and has offered to cover all my expenses. I enjoy his company (in measured doses) and it seeing him would more than make up for my Summer Sex deficit, BUT. I’m really starting to wonder about the man: I think he may actually be a sex addict, and by that I mean more than the typical man: I mean NOT in a happy kind of way, but in an anxious and seeking relief via constant, rapid-release sex way. I’m anxious enough these days without adding THAT to my vibe. I want a man to DOUBLE my pleasure, not cut it in half!

(For more iron designs visit What We Have Wrought)

I am so sorry that one mentally ill obsessive has managed to ruin the comments section of my blog. Obviously the man is incapable of self management, and I am bloody sick of policing him, so I’m shutting down the comments section until further notice. Apologies all around, but the gate is closed. Maybe I’ll stop by your pad instead.

SO much is going on, in my life and on the world stage, but I am too tired to write about any of it just yet. My house smells like litterbox and looks as though a bomb hit it. Let me pay my bills, take this business test and write this finance paper; then we’ll talk.

Laydees! The next time you summon the energy to drive into the city and offer yourself up as a consumable item to a man who does his tail shopping online, try this:

Adopt the regulation drag by wearing a clingy-yet-modest knit dress, high heels and long hair, full makeup, perfume, the works. Try not to calculate the ROI on all this effort; just treat it like the state lottery in that you know you’re frittering your life away one dollar, one thought, one calorie at a time but maybe . . . maybe . . . you may hit an emotional or physical jackpot someday.

Hey. It could happen.

On your way to meet Mr. Maybe, be sure to totter past a construction site or the local salt lick. Smile at the whistles and the “Hey! Miss! Hey! Hey!” That way, should your date turn out to be a total bore you at least know that hey, you still “got it.” The day wasn’t a total waste of makeup. You won’t break even by a long shot, energetically speaking, but you’ll need that little ego boost during the long ride home.

Can you tell my old camera is dying? I might be kittyprinted out. Let’s see: Kittyprint nightgown, robe slippers and blanket, with matching cat. Yup, my kittyprint collection is probably complete.

That’s the problem with mental illness I guess. Now I have to call the cops AGAIN?

NOTE TO MY READERS: I have a blogstalker who thinks I’m . . . I dunno, an ex girlfriend incognito or something. I’ve not met either of these individuals, but since this man is a psychiatric basket case he just won’t let up.

Since he volunteered his personal information I know who he is, and I don’t think he appreciated his last police visit, so WTF IS HIS PROBLEM?

Oh that’s right: He’s a drug addicted psychopath so puffed up with his self-importance that he actually thinks he’s having an “impact” by posting nonsensical comments on my blog. The truth of the matter is that he’s a mosquito, and I’m running around this blog with a flyswatter.

So here’s the deal folks:  I don’t want to turn this into a Registration Only comments space. Does anyone out there know how to block an entire IP range?  I’m willing to cut off the entire San Diego metropolitan area to rid myself of this nutjob incoherence.

It was a perfect day today: No work, blue sky, poofy clouds, warm breeze. It was a shorts and sandals day and I made the most of it: By sleeping until noon (11 hours sleep total) and shopping the rest of the day.

That’s right: I totally blew an opportunity to 1) do my homework and 2) play in my garden, all for the sake of personal errands and a 50% off sale at DSW. Shame on me!

I’ll do better tomorrow I promise: I’m very, very VERY well rested!

Now THAT’s an umbrella!

It’s going to be one of those cold rainy weekends. Call me a little odd but I kind of like rainy weekends; they inspire relaxation in a way that sunny weekends never do for me.

The forecast calls for rain? Really? Neato! I think I’ll just sleep in. Maybe I’ll read a book later. Maybe I’ll call back that New York matchmaker about the guy who wants to meet me.

Meh. Maybe not.

“The FDA is finally starting to tell the truth about antidepressants. It is time for psychiatry to tell the truth as well. We have never known what we were doing. We do however know, if we were to just leave people alone and do nothing to them, they would be better in 12 to 16 weeks. “

-Dr. Peter Breggin M.D.

I’m using a vacation day to deal with my stupid hormones.  My edema is back and my weight has ballooned to 137 pounds. Since I can’t get my chubby feet into my shoes and can barely walk, so I know it’s not fat but water causing it. It’s probably my hormones kicking my ass again, with complications stemming from my long term SSRI use. SSRI withdrawal symptoms can last for several months after stopping treatment, and the protocol for coping with the neurological hypersensitivity is rest and the avoidance of all stimulants to the nervous system.

(Important Note: For you PMDD sufferers reading this I’m NOT suggesting you quit the Zoloft or Sarafem or whatever it is you’re taking. Rather I suggest you speak with your doctor about whether or not s/he thinks intermittent dosing could be right for you. Intermittent dosing will reduce both short and long-term side-effects of SSRI use. I might need a SSRI to get me through the winter months and will chose intermittent dosing if this comes to be the case.)

Researchers in the biopsychiatry field have discovered that excess serotogenic activity can lead to REM sleep disruption, adrenal exhaustion, and the edema and weight gain associated with it. AW, fuckitall, but at least I have a possible diagnosis because my doctor, who’s ordinarily very good, shrugged off my unexplained weight gain as food and activity related. Occam’s Razor: Always reach for the simplest explanation, especially when diagnostic tests come out normal, which mine did. Unfortunately adrenal fatigue can’t be detected from simple blood tests.

“When Patient’s Tail Stops Wagging Problems are Imminent.” Dr. Michael Borkin, NMD is a pioneer in hormone and electrolyte research. He specializes in hormone and electrolyte testing and balancing.

Signs and Symptoms of Adrenal Fatigue

• Tendency to gain weight and unable to loose it, especially around the waist.
• High frequency of getting the flu and other respiratory diseases and these symptoms tend to last longer than usual.
• Tendency to tremble when under pressure.
• Reduced sex drive.
• Lightheaded when rising from a laying down position.
• Unable to remember things.
• Lack of energy in the mornings and also in the afternoon between 3 to 5 pm.
• Feel better suddenly for a brief period after a meal.
• Often feel tired betweeen 9 - 10 pm, but resist going to bed.
• Need coffee or stimulants to get going in the morning.
• Crave for salty, fatty, and high protein food such as meat and cheese.
• Increase symptoms of PMS for women; period are heavy and then stop, or almost stopped on the 4th day, only to start flow again on the 5th or 6th day.
• Pain in the upper back or neck with no apparent reasons .
• Feels better when stress is relieved, such as on a vacation.
• Difficulties in getting up in the morning
• Lightheaded

Other signs and symptoms include:

• Mild depression
• Food and or inhalant allergies
• Lethargy and lack of energy
• Increased effort to perform daily tasks
• Decreased ability to handle stress
• Dry and thin skin
• Hypoglycemia
• Low Body Temperature
• Nervousness
• Palpitation
• Unexplained hair loss
• Alternating constipation and diarrhea
• Dyspepsia

So how does one treat adrenal exhaustion? I dunno, but when I see the word “exhaustion” I think “rest.” Dr. Lam has an adrenal fatigue protocol at his natural medicine website and it looks quite doable, if I can force myself off the caffeine and into bed earlier. The protocol is too long to cut and paste in its entirety here but here are his main points distilled:

1. SPA DAY!!! Minimize or eliminate what causes stress (duh). Make relationship changes if they’re the problem.

2. Change bedtime habits. Turn off TV by 8pm and do NOT spend late evenings on the computer; the artificial light fucks with melatonin levels and the sleep cycle. I will need to cut down on my nighttime blogging.

3. Everything I’ve been doing to self-treat in the food arena has been wrong. I just ate half a watermelon to treat my edema and bought a bunch of bananas to replace the potassium I’m losing from my over-the-counter diruetics, but these are bad choices for the sufferer of adrenal exhaustion. From Dr. Lam’s website:

The primary diet should be high in raw food and that is low in glycemic index. Fruit juices should be avoided. Whole fruits should be limited, especially melons, which are high in sugar and causes sugar spikes soon after food enters the body. Good quality protein from meat, fish, and eggs are recommended. These provide a steady source of energy to carry the body through between meals.

Vegetarians who have adrenal fatigue have a much higher challenge. Legumes (beans) must be eaten with whole grains, seeds, or nuts to make a complete protein. It is important for vegetarians to add eggs, miso, as well as combining beans, seeds, and nuts with a small amount of whole grain. About 50-60% of the diet should consist of raw food. 6-8 servings of a wide variety of vegetables should be included.

Seeds and nuts are critical elements and sources of fatty acids that the adrenal glands need in order to manufacture cholesterol, a precursor to all adrenal steroid hormones. The key is to take nuts and seeds that are raw and free of rancid oils. Oils that are rancid make the symptoms of adrenal fatigue worse and should be avoided at all cost. Raw nuts should be taken on a liberal basis and should be soaked overnight in water. Nuts such as cashews, almonds, brazils, pecans, walnuts, and chestnuts are excellent. Peanuts should be avoided. Olive oil should be used for light cooking. The cooking heat should be low to moderate. Use coconut oil and butter for any high heat or deep-frying.

Vegetables high in sodium include kelp, black olives, red hot peppers, spinach, zucchini, celery, and Swiss chard. Fruits should only be taken in moderation. If you feel worse after food consumption, that is the body’s way of telling you that you are on the wrong track. Organic fruits such as papaya mango, apples, grapes, and cherry are recommended. Bananas, dates, figs, raisins, and grapefruit are high in potassium and should be limited.

Many people with adrenal fatigue also have a lower level of hydrochloric acid (HCl), which is necessary to break down the protein. Symptoms of this problem include gas, bloating, and heaviness in the stomach (HPS says BINGO!) after eating a meal containing protein. In such case, the use of digestive enzymes, probiotics, as well as HCl replacement is indicated

4. Just Do It: Exercise is a hormone regulator.

5. Supplements: Vitamins and minerals (duh) but especially Vitamin C, pantethanic acid, magnesium and vitamin E. Pregnenolone and DHEA highly recommended.

I had Polycystic Ovary Syndrome when I was in my early teens and suspect I’ve been dealing with adrenal exhaustion in my own halfassed ways for decades. Have I finally found the Holy Grail? Maybe . . . Then again I’m beginning to notice that most non-hereditary disorders can be improved with a highly alkaline, low glycemic diet and proper supplementation . . . plus exercise. I know they call this adrenal exhaustion for a reason, but don’t forget the (snore) exercise. I know, I know . . . that’s why I’m getting a massage instead.

I suppose some of you have noticed I’ve turned off comments; sorry about that. Someone has been harassing me and I’m sick of it. He’s wasting my time, constantly changing his handle, email and IP address and I’m so fucking BORED with him I don’t know what else to do.

So fuck him: I’m getting rid of my email account, and I may need to take down this blog and start over somewhere else under a different handle. He’s that much of a drain on my energy, and I wish he’d just give up and GO AWAY.

If you have a blog I promise I’ll visit.

(The Hedonistic Pleasureseeker uses her trampoline as a footstool)

Hey I’m here!  I’m not ignoring y’all; I’m just working on my 230 essays and hope at least one of them will be ready for prime time by Friday. I’m too pooped to finish my latest tinfoil hat trick, so g’night!

I HAZ BLANKEE

I almost always find Mondays a bit overwhelming and want to “cocoon” when I get home. Forget cooking or cleaning or even writing: I just want to putter around the house in complete silence or just read. This is why if I neglect to write my Kittyprint Tuesday post ahead of time you get something really short. Like this.

Off to bath and bed early . . .

The Hedonistic Pleasureseeker is playing hooky today. She has several important Things to Do, the details of which shall forever remain a secret.